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Turn Off Your Damn Lawn Sprinklers, L.A!

Turn Off Your Damn Lawn Sprinklers, L.A!
Jennifer Gaillard/LA Weekly Flickr pool

From the department of No Frigging Duh, we have this public service announcement.

L.A. County officials are urging you to turn off your lawn sprinklers until at least next week. You see, we're in the midst of a historic drought that has followed the driest year on record in Southern California.

And we're looking at two storms approaching, starting tomorrow:

One of the two, an expected Friday night drenching, will bring our heaviest rain in nearly three years, the National Weather Service told us.

See also: Wettest Night in Nearly 3 Years Coming to L.A.

And still, you will see sprinkler systems raging in L.A. You know this.

L.A. County Supervisor Don Knabe says:

We all need to do our part to help conserve water, so the very best and most effective thing any one of us can do to take immediate advantage of the coming rain is to simply shut our sprinkler systems off. Your yard won't need to be watered until later next week, at the very least.

Of course, with agriculture using up to 80 percent of California's water, turning off your lawn sprinklers will have about as much effect on the drought as adding carpool lanes does on easing our freeway traffic.

See also: Governor Brown Wants to Give Our Water to Drought-Stricken NorCal?

Here's the real problem with that request, though:

Turn Off Your Damn Lawn Sprinklers, L.A!
Robb Wilson/LA Weekly Flickr pool

We live in an era when few of us who have lawns ever even touch our lawns. They are fitted with computerized timing systems so complicated as to be decipherable only by Oaxacan immigrants who speak little English. And you speak no Spanish. Which is why the county's statement should have been in any other language but English.

So gush they will, these lawn sprinklers. Unless you grab the phone and let your Mexican garden scientist know, en Espanol, to turn them off for a week, por favor.

Send feedback and tips to the author. Follow Dennis Romero on Twitter at @dennisjromero. Follow LA Weekly News on Twitter at @laweeklynews.


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