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TSA Scanner 'Opt Out' Day Has Trouble Getting Off The Ground At LAX

Internet rebels get cold feet in the face of the big bad TSA
Internet rebels get cold feet in the face of the big bad TSA
Earth Hope Network

All major news sources this morning are clawing at whatever mangled corpse is left of the TSA hype. Today was supposed to be national opt-out day -- and still could be, of course, once the straight-laced early-morning travelers give way to rambunctious noon-flight types -- but so far, passengers have been chickening out and just letting TSA employees X-ray their junk anyway.

Come on, people! Whatever happened to the kilt-with-no-underwear spirit? Your country needs you now. No, you do not have places to be. Don't pretend you're in such a hurry to see smelly Uncle Richard that the opt-out just isn't worth it anymore. For all of us behind a desk today, put your pat-down where your mouth is and let freedom ring!

Media outlets report the bleak reality of the exhaustively talked/Tweeted-about protest at LAX this morning:

  • NBC got everyone all riled up with a story about a girl who planned on walking through the scanners in nothing but a bikini a little after 8 a.m. The network sort of even encouraged an opt-out by advertising a free iPod Touch giveaway for the first 10 protesters who refused to pass through the nudie scanning machines and Tweeted #touchedbytsa.
  • Marisa Maola, TSA security director, told MSNBC that "there have been 'no signs' of a protest and some security lines are actually shorter today than in previous day-before-Thanksgivings." The situation at LAX was brushed off with a "business as usual." Wah wah.
  • ABC7 and the Huffington Post report similar lulls in rebellion. Sadly, it's all tumbleweeds and roller bags out there. A disappointingly calm John Pistole, TSA administrator, told "Good Morning America" that he hadn't received news of op-out flareups yet, and wasn't very worried. (But could it just be a conspiracy to scare us into line??)
  • Our trustiest source -- the civilian-powered, trash-talking Twitter -- confirmed the morningtime bust. Though Tweeters continue to carry on about "gate rape" and relay the second-hand horrors of those groped by TSA agents, the general consensus is anticlimactic. Although a sarahandharlow (below) does report an encounter with a member of the elusive security anarchists. (More importantly, there's been an LAX Beyonce sighting. With Twitpics!) Some notes from the field:
TSA Scanner 'Opt Out' Day Has Trouble Getting Off The Ground At LAX
Twitter
TSA Scanner 'Opt Out' Day Has Trouble Getting Off The Ground At LAX
Twitter
TSA Scanner 'Opt Out' Day Has Trouble Getting Off The Ground At LAX
Twitter

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