Tough Love

I have been a leading female Pick Up Coach since 2006 and have earned the reputation of being the "bitch with a heart." The reason for this is because I have always given straight-forward feedback and honest advice, but with the sole intention that it gets my students the results they desire. It's called TOUGH LOVE.

A lot of my students come to me asking "how can I become confident?" They have been told for years that confident guys get women – end of story! But is it?

I have known some men who genuinely have their pick of the best-looking women, and these men happen to be extremely arrogant and egotistical, which is of course only a veil they use to thinly disguise their deeply insecure core.

Now here's the strange thing: I know men who have what one would call genuine inner confidence, the type of confidence that all women say they desire. Yet sometimes they get fewer results with women than the arrogant man.

The boldness of the arrogant man can pay off! The arrogant man does not sit back and wait for things to happen. He believes he is a master of his own destiny and often, in my personal experience, his deep inferiority complex acts as a catalyst in fuelling his determination to succeed.

The man with inner confidence can do just as well as the arrogant man, but with half the effort. So it makes sense that people want to learn how to perfect or gain inner confidence, but in my experience going out and being the arrogant man can often result in inner confidence. The results arrogant men can achieve can make them believe more in themselves than any book out there on self love and spirituality.

So rather than hate the arrogant guy when he gets all those hot women, try to learn from him and gather a few useful tips. The men who have inner confidence are much harder to learn from. They usually have had long-term experience of getting results, so their advice is usually vague.

I teach my students behavioral therapy. Actions shape our beliefs greatly. I tell my students to walk around the club as if they own it. I tell them to adopt the alpha male body language, to step out of their comfort zones and to physically do the things that they imagine the super-confident man would do.

(Usually the confident man that they imagine is a film star.)

At first they say it feels unnatural, but then they notice the reactions of the women they talk to are far more positive than they expect.

The next step is getting results! Once the results start coming through, these men's internal belief in themselves begins to grow. They actually become those confident men that they longed to be from the start. But they had to adopt the body language of the arrogant man to make that vital shift.

Arrogant men are easier to learn from than men with deep inner confidence. But copying the arrogant man's exterior traits should be used only in the beginning stages to help give you that initial and vital push out of your comfort zone.

Image: Graur Razvan Ionut.


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