Top 5 Ways to Give Japanese Nuclear Radiation a Proper Welcome to Southern California
So by now you've probably heard. Some of that radiation released by Japan's ailing Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station is likely headed to Los Angeles.
Don't be afraid. Don't ask if you should drop a potassium iodide pill. You shouldn't. Don't ask if you should stay indoors. Go outside
What you should be asking is how do we properly welcome this visitor from Japan in a uniquely Southern California style? (Don't bow. It's patronizing).
5. Be a douche and ask if it works out. (You know, 'cause "you're hot.").
UCLA Bruins Women's Basketball vs. Arizona State Sundevils Womens Basketball
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 8:00pm
UCLA Bruins Women's Basketball vs. Arizona Wildcats Womens Basketball
TicketsSun., Jan. 29, 2:00pm
Anaheim Ducks v. Colorado Avalanche
TicketsTue., Jan. 31, 7:00pm
Los Angeles Lakers v Denver Nuggets - Verified Resale Tickets
TicketsTue., Jan. 31, 7:30pm
4. Follow the wishes of the anti-illegal-immigrant, SoCal-born Minuteman Project and ask for its papers.
3. Explain that, no, Charlie Sheen isn't doing any more interviews.
2. Advise it to tell the doc its own radiation levels are up, then to head to the nearest dispensary, get some Michael Phelps, and spark up. That's how we do.
1. Tell it to go ahead and take a tour of the beautiful UCLA campus -- but to be sure not to act like those "Asians in the library."
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Los Angeles, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.