We don't usually care too much about what the hell those crazy San Diegans are doing down there in the bowels of California, but this chick -- excuse us, this insanely psychotic insane psychopath -- is just too fascinating to pass up.
She's a high-class real-estate agent, with three kids of her own, living in the upscale beach town of Del Mar -- and she can't stop scratching babies for the life of her.
According to a KNX news radio recording, 45-year-old Lisa Hench "admitted to scratching several babies between the ages of three [months] and 19 months until they bled, while pretending to play with the kids."
Today, a San Diego Superior Court judge sentenced Hench to two years in County jail.
From the MSNBC courtside report, somewhat tastelessly titled "Judge sends serial baby scratcher to timeout":
The judge repeatedly called her acts "predatory" in nature. All eight attacks took place over a span of multiple months at different locations, among them a jogathon and grocery store.
Lainie Carswell and Gene Carswell both spoke at the sentencing. The husband and wife said Hench has shown no remorse for injuring their daughter, who was 7 months old at the time. They claimed Hench violated a restraining order three times and once threateningly mouthed to Lainie she would "take her down."
"She is a predator on the most innocent helpless babies, and she abuses them until they bleed and cry out in pain, and she does it right in front of the parents," Lainie attested in court.
Another witness, Kelly Frederick, sounded more than traumatized about Hench's interaction with her 17-month-old son Charlie:
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Frederick said Hench massaged Charlie's ears at a jogathon in front of her. Her attention was briefly diverted before she heard her son scream. Frederick saw his ears were red, and it took about 10 minutes to calm him down.
When putting Charlie in his car seat, Frederick saw Charlie had three bloodied scratches behind one ear and two behind another, including a gouge with a piece of skin missing.
So... we're going to just leave you with that image, just to, you know, spice up your sunny happy Tuesday with a little bit of freaky-people barf. Yeah, don't mention it. =)
P.S. Check out Hench's real-estate website. Preview: Smiley kids with sand buckets and lines like "I treat each client as though they were a member of my family" and "In my spare time I like to visit my parents, go to children's parties, volunteer at all three of my children's schools, and give back to the community that has so freely given to me."
And by "give back," she means... you know. The scratching thing.