A Playlet (adapted, loosely, from Thirteen Days, Fail-Safe and Gray Davis response to the states energy crisis)
What if the lights had gone out?
burton: RICH PEDRONCELLI, apwide world; villaraigosa: virginia lee hunter; kennedys: apwide world
Scene: The Cabinet Room, the White House, October 1962. A few days previous, the administration discovered the presence of Soviet missiles in Cuba. Now, Russian warships bearing additional missiles are just a few minutes away from encountering U.S. warships under orders not to let them proceed. As the scene begins, the presidents top military and civilian advisers await him for a meeting that will decide the momentous question of war or peace.
Premium Seating: Los Angeles Angels v. Baltimore Orioles
TicketsMon., Aug. 7, 7:07pm
Los Angeles Angels vs. Baltimore Orioles
TicketsMon., Aug. 7, 7:07pm
Los Angeles Rams vs. Dallas Cowboys
TicketsSat., Aug. 12, 6:00pm
Premium Seating: Los Angeles Angels v. Texas Rangers
TicketsMon., Aug. 21, 7:07pm
GENERAL CURTIS LEMAY (Air Force chief of staff)
We shoulda nuked em in the first place, and we can still nuke em now. Those ships are all the excuse we need --
ADLAI STEVENSON (ambassador to the U.N.)
We need to what? See the Eastern Seaboard destroyed?
DEAN RUSK (secretary of state)
Gentlemen, please! President Davis will determine our response. Were here, remember, to implement his vision.
President Davis enters, sits and addresses his aides.
Be seated. Whats the latest? General?
Those ships will make contact in four to five minutes. When they do . . .
Thank you, general. Dean?
Weve got Khruschev on the line. I think he wants to deal. I think . . .
Thank you, Dean. Izzy?
IZZY WATSKI (the presidents pollster)
Weve tallied the overnights, and heres the thing: 72 percent want you to blow those ships out of the water. And 72 percent want you to avoid a major blow-up. Goes up to 77 percent when we change the wording from blow-up to nuclear war.
DAVIS (with great urgency)
All voters or likely voters?
DAVIS (boring in)
What about the difference between nuclear war and major nuclear war? How much opposition to a just plain nuclear war?
Mr. President, we didnt poll on that.
You didnt poll?! How the hell am I supposed to decide this stuff if you dont poll?!
Mr. President, we dont have more than a minute or two . . .
Nuke em! Fricassee em!
General! Adlai! I am the president! We will implement my vision! And my vision is . . . is . . . Izzy, let me see that polling. [Watski passes him some papers. Davis starts mumbling:] 72 percent both ways, huh? Hmmm . . .
LEMAY (phone receiver to ear)
Mr. President, the ships have begun to exchange fire! Were blowin em out of the water! You cant stop this now! Whoo-eee!
Gimme that phone! (Yanks receiver from LeMay.) This is the president. Whos this? Admiral, whats the situation? Youve sunk them all? And on our side? Oh. Im sorry to hear that. How badly are you hurt? Thats a lot of blood. Admiral . . . try to stay conscious for one more moment, if you can . . . Do you have a family? No? Well, at a time like this, that may be a blessing. Have you thought about what to do with your estate? You know, were up for re-election here in two years time and we could really use contributions from war heroes like you. Admiral? Admiral?
RUSK (on red phone)
Chairman Khruschev is demanding to speak with you.
Hold on. (To aide) I think he died on me. See if he made a contribution, or any gesture that could be construed that way, before he died. (Takes red phone) Nikita! Yes, I know we have a problem! My idiot pollster cant give me any numbers on a small nuclear war! Weve got our hawks and our doves here, and a small nuclear war, properly done, just might unify them. How about you, would that help with your hard-liners? Yeah, it splits the difference -- a Third Way, so to speak. Whats that? Youve got a bomber about to reach New York? Hey, how about swapping Moscow for New York? Hang on a minute, Nikita. (To pollster) Izzy, New York . . .
Americans hate New York. Way over 80 percent.
Army hates New York. More commies there than in Moscow.
Nikita, we may have a winner here . . .
CASH McCLUNG (presidents fund-raiser, in an urgent whisper)
Mr. President, your campaign funds are in the main branch of Chase-Manhattan, right on Wall Street . . .
Theyd honor it at their D.C. branch.
They might harbor a grudge.
You think? (Breaks out in cold sweat, barks to aide) Get me David Rockefeller [chairman of Chase-Manhattan] in New York! (Into red phone) Nikita, dont let your flyboy drop it just yet. (Into other phone) David, how are you? This is the president. David, can you do a wire transfer of my campaign account down to your D.C. branch? (Into red phone) Say what, Nikita? You cant reach him? (Into other phone) David, do you think you could do that right now? Great! Wonnaful! Say, David, have you made any provisions in your will for my campaign fund?
The stage grows dark with calculation as the curtain falls.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Los Angeles, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.