The Institution of Marriage
On a hot, smoggy day earlier this month, Jim and I drove to the County Clerks Office in East Los Angeles for a wedding license. We found a cluster of squat concrete structures, hard-used and studiously devoid of charm. In the small courtyard, women with baby strollers and small children hung out on the few benches. A full baby bottle lay in the dirt under a palmetto. Shade cloth, slung overhead, had caught inches of debris from the trees, forming a thick canopy. We spotted the licensing office, approached and tried the door. It was locked. We looked at each other had we come on the wrong day?
Then the door opened, and a security guard presented himself.
Were here for a marriage license, I said, and showed him the application wed already filled out. He studied it, advised us to add several details and get identification out. We did as we were told, and waited while the guard told a young woman how to obtain a birth certificate. He scanned our papers again and admitted us into a small queuing area. Go to that window, he said, pointing. And congratulations!
Nobody was behind the indicated window. We waited, smiling at each other with a new crease of anxiety. The institutional bleakness reminded me of traffic tickets and getting hall passes in high school. Getting married, it seemed, was officially no more than another bureaucratic detail, a human inevitablility stripped of all nicety.
TicketsFri., Oct. 28, 7:00pm
UCLA Bruins Men's Soccer vs. Coastal Carolina Chanticleers Men's Soccer
TicketsSat., Oct. 29, 7:00pm
CSUN Mens Soccer
TicketsSat., Oct. 29, 7:00pm
Los Angeles Clippers v Utah JAzz - Verified Resale Tickets
TicketsSun., Oct. 30, 1:30pm
After a couple of minutes, a woman showed up behind the window. She still held a drink cup from her break. Seeing us, she did a small double take and snort, as if to say, Not even off my break, and already theyre comin at me. She took her time settling in disposing of drink cup, pulling out chair, keying up the computer, greeting the other women in the office so that by the time she turned her attention to us, we knew whose timetable wed hew to. She was in surprisingly good humor.
She pointed out that Jim had given his mothers married, not maiden name on the form, and provided the whiteout. Also, Id made a mistake in stating the kind of work I did. There are the two spaces concerning employment on the license, one for your job, the other for kind of work. Jim, without hesitation, had written down lawyer and, because he works for the state, listed his kind of work as government. I wrote down writing for my job and, after a few moments of thought, wrote self-employed under kind of work.
There is no self-employed, said the woman.
Then lets put freelance, I said.
Theres no freelance either, she said. The woman then handed me her list of possible kinds of work. Coffee shop was a kind of work, as was foundry. Magazine made the cut, as did newspaper. But there was no category for novel, fiction or literature. Nothing for creative or even artist.
Youll have to put private, said the woman. Private ll have to do.
And so I did. Government was marrying Private. It made us sound like Republicans.
The clerk then had us write out a check for $70, gave us a receipt and told us to return in an hour at 12:04 p.m.
We drove for some minutes up and down Cesar Chavez trying to find a coffee shop. I saw several of my favorite eating places Dianas for chicharonnes, the raspado place next to the old Melmac factory, the bakery next door to it but we were on wedding diets, plus we were going to meet with Jims rabbi later for a premarital-counseling session. I wasnt keen to meet the rabbi with pork fat on my breath, so I didnt suggest stopping at any of the places I knew. We ended up in a doughnut shop drinking Diet Cokes and, in preparation for our counseling session, talked about our ideas for handling money while the man in the booth behind us made repeated trips to the register to buy lottery tickets. These he proceeded to scratch with great concentration.
We wont handle our money like that, said Jim as a man came in and gave us two enormous lemons.
The lottery player, in fact, made us feel as if mortgages and small credit-card balances werent so dire. If anything, Jim and I have too similar an approach to money. Soon the clock read noon.
This time, we knew to knock on the office door. The security guard said, May I help you? as if hed never seen us before.
Were here to pick up our marriage license.
I need to see your receipt, he said. It will tell me if youve come back at the right time.
Who knew where the receipt was? I sat down on a bench between two mothers and their many children, and did some serious purse rummaging. The heat was rising, and the children were restless with waiting. A baby wailed. Jim went to look in the car. After a minute, he re-appeared, waving the paper. We waited while the guard told another woman in detail how to obtain a birth certificate. Then he looked at our paperwork, said, Yes, its time for you to get your license, and opened the door.
At a different window, a different clerk produced a manila envelope whose contents she spread over her blotter. Okay, she said, please raise your right hands.
Oh, uh, excuse me, Jim sputtered. Were not getting married today.
The woman and I both stared at him. He was white with fright.
This is just to make sure that all the information you wrote down is correct.
Ohhhh, Jim said with such obvious relief that we all three laughed. Then Jim and I raised our right hands.
She asked us to swear that everything wed written was true. I kept quiet about the whole kind-of-work business, which did not feel true at all being a private writer is, in fact, the last kind of work Id want to do.
We signed the license and took our duplicate, which was emblazoned customer copy.
Thereupon, as mostly satisfied customers, we went to face the rabbi.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.