Tequila vs. Merriman -- The Big Guy Wins

Is anybody surprised that the San Diego County District Attorney today declined to press charges against NFL linebacker Shawne Merriman after reality television's Tila "Tequila" Nguyen reported that he had choked and restrained her?

It all went down last Sunday in the city of Poway in San Diego's North County after what authorities described was a night of drinking and clubbing by the couple, particularly on the part of Nguyen. She called sheriff's deputies about 3:30 a.m. to report that the 6 foot, 4 inch tall San Diego Charger had choked her and kept her from leaving his home.

He spent a few hours locked up. And then the games began. Merriman, through his attorney, said Nguyen was drunk and that he was trying to keep her from driving while impaired and ultimately did her more harm than good. She responded via Twitter that she never drinks. In fact, her name, Tequila, is an ironic play on the fact that she's allergic to alcohol, she stated.

That was about when you could hear just about the entire globe sigh and roll its eyes in favor of the big guy. Nguyen is not only a habitual boyfriend collector (and recycler), but it appears there were at least some witnesses to her preference for blue agave or some other flammable beverages.

She don't, however, stop, as they say. Nguyen insists through a rep that an act of unspeakable violence was committed, and that the powers that be in San Diego have too much riding on a Merriman-equipped NFL team to let him go down. And so, like any good Southern Californian, the West Hollywood resident is taking Merriman to court and suing for unspecified damages, her spokesperson says.

At 4 feet, 11 inches, and 100 pounds, we wouldn't count her out just yet.

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