The Internet is a wonderfully whimsical place where pedophiles and cat ladies alike can find exactly what they need to get through their day. And while we all know the government invented the World Wide Web for porn and cat videos, it has become an equally essential tool for the dating scene.
But for those of us sick of OKCupid hook-ups and obsessive Match.com messaging, there's a sub realm of websites devoted to the sugar daddy lifestyle. These sites match rich men with "sugar babies" looking to be temporarily taken care of and showered with financial attention until their stay wears out.
Sounds like the kind of ladies of substance with whom you'd want to be BFFs, right?
One such site, SeekingArrangement.com, is determined to prove that not all sugar babies are alike and its most recent poll suggests that a fat wallet isn't these women's sole motivator.
"While many unfairly stereotype sugar babies as gold-diggers who would gladly accept any wealthy man as their sugar daddy, our survey shows the contrary," SeekingArrangement.com founder and CEO Brandon Wade said. "Sugar babies are extremely picky about the men they date."
The site recently polled its cadre of 30,000 sugar babies and asked them whom they'd pick to be their No. 1 sugar daddy: uber-rich, uber-bland Mitt Romney or U.S. President and crooner/dancer Barack Obama.
While both are certainly financially sound for the rest of their lives, Romney's most exciting attribute (aside from his occasionally unkempt left eyebrow) is his apparent overflowing bank account, giving him a leg-up on the dollar sign scale.
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But surprisingly, despite his titillating tax returns and grandpa jokes, Romney's salt-and-pepper charm wasn't enough to sway the eager sugar babies looking for political asylum.
About 34 percent said they'd rather have Obama as their sugar daddy, while 43 percent would prefer someone -- anyone -- else. Barely 12 percent said Romney would be their choice.
"Even though Romney is worth 20 times more than Obama, Barack Obama was by far the preferred sugar daddy," Wade said. "Obama beat Romney by a knockout of 3 to 1."
Whelp, that restores a good 1.3 percent of my faith in humanity. Thanks SeekingArrangement.com!