*OK, so we fibbed in the headline. The final results aren't in. But -- thanks to sleazy incumbent fixing of elections in California by the Berman brothers -- the new crop of California Senators, Assemblymen and Congressmen was chosen months ago. For the Weekly's full lowdown on gerrymandering, click here.
Now for a complete list of the winners:
California State Senate
District 20 (San Fernando): Alex Padilla (D)
District 22 (South Pasadena, part of L.A.): Kevin de León (D)
District 24 (Covina, Baldwin Park, part of L.A.): Ed Hernandez (D)
District 26 (Culver City): Curren Price (D)
District 28 (Beach Cities): Jenny Oropeza (D for Dead)
District 30 (Eastern L.A. suburbs): Ron Calderon (D)
District 32 (Pomona, San Bernardino): Gloria Negrete-McLeod (D)
California State Assembly
District 36 (Lancaster, Palmdale): Steve Knight (R)
District 37 (Ventura, small part of L.A.): Jeff Gorell (R)
District 38 (Santa Clarita): Cameron Smyth (R)
District 39 (San Fernando): Felipe Fuentes (D)
District 40 (San Fernando Valley, including Van Nuys): Bob Blumenfield (D)
District 41 (Oxnard, Malibu, Santa Monica): Julia Brownley (D)
District 42 (Beverly Hills, West Hollywood): Mike Feuer (D)
District 43 (Burbank, Glendale): Mike Gatto (D)
District 44 (Pasadena): Anthony Portantino (D)
District 45 (East L.A.): Gil Cedillo (D)
District 46 (East L.A., Huntington Park): John Pérez (D)
District 47 (Culver City): Holly Mitchell (D)
District 48 (Part of South Central L.A.): Mike Davis (D)
District 49 (Inner Northeastern suburbs of L.A.): Mike Eng (D)
District 50 (Bellflower): Ricardo Lara (D)
District 51 (Inglewood, Hawthorne): Steven Bradford (D)
District 52 (Compton): Isadore Hall (D)
District 53 (Beach Cities): Betsy Butler (D)
District 54 (Palos Verdes, Long Beach, Avalon): Bonnie Lowenthal (D)
District 55 (Carson, Long Beach): Warren Furutani (D)
District 56 (Norwalk, Buena Park): Tony Mendoza (D)
District 57 (Covina, Baldwin Park): Roger Hernandez (D)
District 58 (Inner Eastern suburbs of L.A.): Charles Calderon (D)
District 59 (Outer parts of L.A. County): Tim Donnelly (R)
District 60 (Western Inland Empire): Curt Hagman (R)
U.S. House of Representatives
CA District 22 (Bakersfield): Kevin McCarthy (R)
CA District 25 (Palmdale, Big Empty): Buck McKeon (R)
CA District 26 (Northeastern L.A. suburbs): David Dreier (R)
CA District 27 (Western San Fernando Valley): Brad Sherman (D)
CA District 28 (Eastern San Fernando Valley): Howard Berman (D)
CA District 29 (Burbank, Glendale, Pasadena): Adam Schiff (D)
CA District 30 (Malibu, Beverly Hills): Henry Waxman (D)
CA District 31 (Hollywood): Xavier Becerra (D)
CA District 32 (Covina, Baldwin Park): Judy Chu (D)
CA District 33 (Culver City): Karen Bass (D)
CA District 34 (Downtown L.A.): Lucille Roybal-Allard (D)
CA District 35 (South Central): Maxine Waters (D)
CA District 36 (Beach Cities): Jane Harman (D)
CA District 37 (South Central, Long Beach): Laura Richardson (D)
CA District 38 (Southeastern L.A. suburbs): Grace Napolitano (D)
CA District 39 (Southeastern L.A. County): Linda Sánchez (D)
CA District 42 (Chino, Brea): Gary Miller (R)
CA District 46 (Huntington Beach, Seal Beach, Palos Verdes): Dana Rohrabacher (R)
The most bizarre and unsettling Democratic shoo-in of the 2010 election season is Jenny Oropeza (D), incumbent for the senatorial seat of the Long Beach area. She's running against John S. Stammreich (R - no chance whatsoever). Thing is, Oropeza died of cancer two weeks ago.
Still, her camp has been sending out mailers like nothing's wrong, encouraging locals to vote for the six-feet-under incumbent. That way, the party can hold a special election for its Democrat of choice once this round of voting is over.
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You know democracy has gone stale when a dead candidate can woo the majority.
In the whole of California, political experts agree that a measly 10 of 153 total races for the state Senate, Assembly and the House of Representatives were close enough to even call a contest.
Of 80 Assembly seats, about half a dozen saw hot races, while only one of 20 Senate seats and one of 53 House seats hosted any competition at all. Of those, most were in the Central Valley; L.A. was at a virtual standstill, with the vague exception of California State Assembly District 36.
People of Los Angeles, meet the Class of 2010 -- virtually identical to the Class of 2009.