Last night's Americana showdown at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis was blaring on the TV sets of 47.8 percent of the nation's households -- Los Angeles very much included.
After all, we couldn't bear to be out of the loop on all the Super Bowl tweets and commercials and pop-culture commentary this hungover Monday! (Did y'all catch Gisele's hilarious post-game schooling of Tom Brady's teammates? And M.I.A.'s very non-world-peace-ful middle finger to the masses? Hashtag fever!)
But it was really, really hard for L.A. to care about the game itself.
New England versus New York, way over on that blustery other coast? Might as well have been Mars versus Pluto.
Why doesn't the second largest city in the country have a football team? In short: because we have no stadium, and because the NFL has been skeptical about moving an existing team/creating a whole new one on an already crowded roster.
But we're going to set aside our snarky skepticism of AEG's proposal for an NFL venue in downtown L.A., just for a second, to ask from our down-home hearts: How are we supposed to bond with the rest of the country on the second most patriotic day of the year when we didn't even have a horse in the race?
Our sister news blog at The Village Voice is glowing with hometown pride:
Late last night, the mayor's office announced plans for football festivities, which include a ticker-tape parade starting at Battery Place and Washington Street at 11 a.m. tomorrow. It will continue up the Canyon of Heroes (or, y'know, Broadway, as most of us like to call it), and end at Worth Street. At 1 p.m. at City Hall Plaza, the mayor -- who loves the Giants -- will present the team with "Keys to the City."
Meanwhile, the only part of Sunday's big game we could call our own was that embarrassing performance by LMFAO. (Sorry, America.) Not exactly the stuff of city keys.
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To rub it in, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced on Super Bowl eve that the NFL is not looking into an L.A. team at this time. (Also dispelling, once and for all, rumors that the San Diego Chargers might be headed north.) ESPN comments on that big buzz kill:
So stop looking all butthurt, Brady. The biggest loser last night -- and all season long -- was most definitely Los Angeles. Hell, the closest thing we've got to a team are a bunch of role players playing flag football on a raggedy field up in South Pasadena.