Stephen Colbert Solves California's Immigration Woes: Stop Eating Fruits And Vegetables
Comedy-news personality Stephen Colbert testified before Congress Friday on illegal immigration, an issue that hit its boiling point in the Arizona desert and Deep South but has no greater impact than in Los Angeles.
Colbert spoke as an "expert witness" because he spent a single day as a farm worker ("I am not going back out there," he said). It's risky to rely on a comedian, but we have to admit Colbert has licked the problem of Mexicans and other brown people crossing the border to work:
"America's farms are far too dependent on immigrant labor," he said. " ... The obvious answer is for all of us to stop eating fruits and vegetables."
Colbert cited America's obesity problem and was encouraged by the fact that "many Americans have already started" on the non-vegetarian diet.
UCLA Bruins Football vs. Arizona Wildcats
TicketsSat., Oct. 1, 7:30pm
UCLA Bruins Men's Soccer vs. Oregon State Beavers Men's Soccer
TicketsSun., Oct. 2, 3:00pm
Anaheim Ducks v. Los Angeles Kings
TicketsSun., Oct. 2, 5:00pm
NBA Preseason Basketball: Los Angeles Lakers v Sacramento Kings
TicketsTue., Oct. 4, 7:00pm
If a vegetable boycott doesn't work out, however, Colbert had a backup plan:
"Maybe the easier answer is just to have scientists develop vegetables that pick themselves."
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.