Introducing Pheromone Parties -- a communal stink fest.
Pheromones. They provide a certain chemical trigger, sending tingly sensations from feral nose to dirty mind to fleshy loins. This bizarre singles mixer has landed in Los Angeles via true Renaissance woman & Pheromone Party creator -- Judith Prays. It's a naturally innovative way of discovering someone who will turn you on and subsequently provide a decent booty call. (There have been studies indicating that pheromones help build immunity in offspring -- sorta like an evolutionary aid in producing impervious superhero spawn.)
Sound interesting? Here are the guidelines for participating:
1.) Be a super freak.
2.) Be a super freak that believes in the affinity of pheromones.
3.) Please sleep in the same nappy t-shirt for three nights running.
4.) Relinquish AXE, Old Spice, Victoria's Secret Apple Romance Honeysuckle Jasmine Body Mist.
5.) (Consider adding kink by eating Sag Paneer for dinner. Never mind, the website advises against this.)
6.) Insert t-shirt into Ziploc bag. Delicately place your hipster experiment into freezer, between Creamsicles® and beef.
7.) Register and spend thirty American dollars.
8.) RSVP with an image of your ripe, right armpit.
9.) Wait for it.
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The whole party is very organized, color-coded with post-it notes! Boys get blue. Girls get pink. Upon arriving to the event, everyone gets a number. The shirts stay labeled in the Ziplocs. Now... commence frolicking and sniffing dirty duds. Once your interest has piqued and you've developed an insatiable curiosity for THAT SPECIFIC T-SHIRT STANK -- locate the event photographer and pose with the bag(s) of your choice. Photos are displayed on a projector screen throughout the night -- eyeball your magic number and you are welcome to approach (or avoid) your suitor. Luckily, there is absinthe to drink.
Apparently, successful statistics have been stemming from the New York run. Relationships reportedly lasting six months (and beyond?)! Media attention has included KPCC, The Colbert Report and KCRW. The latest L.A. party attracted nearly 100 attendees. There's even a scientific advisor who lends his name to the function, Mr. Charles J. Wysocki, Ph.D.
Can you imagine attempting to translate "pheromone parties" to anyone of a different era, culture or aliens? Yeaaah -- we sniff laundry and eff. And yes, we behave like cave people. Smell pretty!