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State Hood

Condoleezza Rice was handpicked in 1989 by Brent Scowcroft to serve on King George I’s National Security Council. In 2000 she accused President Bill Clinton of "an extraordinary neglect of the fiduciary responsibilities of the commander in chief." She couldn’t have meant the national debt, because there was none. Her boss has since made it trillions. So she must have been deriding Bubba for not expanding the "democratic zone of peace" (her phrase) — Clinton neglected to replace potentially hostile governments with pre-emptive force.

By 2001 Condi was King George II’s national-security adviser. She’s just been dubbed our new secretary of state, replacing Colin Powell. Condi thinks Colin was too soft. Now she’s out of the White House, soiling the rest of the world. Thuggin’ for democracy.

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