Spiders Leave Penises in Female Mates To Prevent Infidelity

Seriously, dude. Your life is rough.
Seriously, dude. Your life is rough.

Wow. It turns out jealous lovers are present in every species, not just ours. We've all had that ex who seethed with anger any time they caught you chatting to a member of the opposite sex, and lived in constant fear that one day you'd decide to sleep with someone else. Well apparently, a species of particularly possessive spiders goes one step further, and leaves its penis in the female's genitals in order to stop other potential suitors from impregnating her. Yes, you read that correctly. No, it doesn't seem worth it.

Is it just me, or are we learning a lot recently about how insane the sex lives of animals and insects are?

As if losing your penis wasn't enough of a downer, the male nephilengys malabarensis spider then has to fight tooth and nail to protect his lady friend from the approaches of other lustful arachnids, who at this stage are all lining up to get their leg over. One of their many, many legs.

Fear not, however! Losing your spider penis comes with advantages, believe it or not. Without the weight of the spider's sexual organs hindering him as he fights his competitors, he becomes a much stronger warrior. His endurance goes up by as much as 80%, which means almost certain victory.

All of this good news is eclipsed only by the fact that 75% of nephilengys malabarensis spiders won't even make it as far as this fight, because their mate will already have eaten them. Oh.

Talk about a lack of gratitude.

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