Skid Row, Sex Rehab Star Phil Varone Starts Sex Toy Line w/ Personal Penis Replica

Only the rock gods know.
Only the rock gods know.

Just what you've all been waiting for: Former Skid Row/Saigon Kick/Vince Neil posse member and little "Celebrity Sex Rehab" darling Phil Varone is getting his cock molded so he can tell men and women around the world to fuck themselves without getting punched in the face.

The rocker has teamed with a major sex toy manufacturer to shoot around ideas, get creative, and stick his hard rod into a vat of goo so that no vein, curve or - we suspect - piercing is missed. But why? Who cares?

Desiree Duffie does. She's the director of public relations at California Exotic Novelties deep in the San Fernando Valley, and she told AfterDarkLA that they're creating this line to appeal to Varone's uber-fans - both those of rock 'n' roll past and of reality show present.

But interestingly enough, Duffie said there also are a lot of dudes out there who look up to him, simply wanting to be a music-minded man-whore like Varone. (Our words, not hers.)

"There are a lot of dudes who want to be like Phil," she said. "Every guy dreams of being a rock star and being with more than 3,000 women. We certainly aren't going to ignore that market segment."

We'll take her word for it. But regardless of who the line's meant for, what we wanna know if what it's gonna look like! (Both the cock AND its matching vibes.)

Duffie said there's something "unique" about Varone's penis that's never been replicated in a celebrity-molded dildo before - that's right, he's not the first guy to have his member manufactured for the masses - which will make this line extra special.

We guess it's a Prince Albert piercing. Porn star Joanna Angel told us what fucking a pierced dick was like and it sounds intense.

Joanna Angel took it like a champ.
Joanna Angel took it like a champ.

Varone recently posed for "Playgirl" magazine so if you're really that curious you can just check out his centerfold.

"I can't say too much on the aesthetics, but they will have a rock 'n' roll vibe to them," Duffie said. "Some of the colors we're considering involve a lot of blacks and reds, and other rockin' colors, too!"

And, ladies and gents, rest assured that the Phil Varone signature sex toy you take home truly came from his own creative depths. He apparently attends regular brainstorming meetings at California Exotic Novelties' HQ, and has been "wickedly creative" during the development process.

"I've always been open to all types of sexual experiences," Varone said in a statement. "Extending my personal brand into a line of sex toys is something I've always wanted to do. It fits with everything I've done as a public figure and I'm honored to team up with California Exotic Novelties to make it happen."

So what are you waiting for? Oh right, they're not out yet. But after they make their debut at one of the adult industry's big annual trade shows in January you can snatch up a whole bunch just in time for Valentine's Day.

Your lady will be super psyched. Your man might be, too.

Besides, Phil Varone isn't the only rock guy we want to bring to bed. Here's an intricate list of some hair-banders who'd probably be good in the sack.


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