Ryan Lochte Is Moving to Los Angeles

America's douche capital is about to get a whole lot douchier:

Olympic swimmer and gold-medal douche Ryan Lochte went on the Today Show this morning to tell Matt Lauer, "I definitely want to move to L.A."

Why Los Angeles, and not his Florida hometown? "That's been a big goal of mine, getting into fashion," explained Lochte, "because..."

"... you know what? That is my passion. When swimming's all said and done, I definitely want to get into fashion and design my own clothing line."

Great. We all know what the Lochte line will look like: winged America shoes and blinged America grills and personalized America shades. Beat that, Ed Hardy.

Lochte's also looking to cash in on his Olympic fame with spots on L.A. reality shows Dancing With the Stars and the Bachelor -- and TV execs aren't exactly denying their mutual interest.

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So that settles it, Miami. All your douche are belong to us.

Although Michael Phelps hasn't made any definitive statements about his post-Olympics plans, he likewise has big TV networks knocking down his dressing-room door. And now that we all know his scandalously hot girlfriend (how dare she be so hot!) is an L.A. resident, we can't help but hope they might choose to settle down in SoCal as well, if only to offset some of Lochte's douchiness.

Here is Lochte's big Hollywood debut, a self-clowning Will Ferrell commission:

Sigh. Welcome home, douchebag.

[@simone_electra / / @LAWeeklyNews]


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