An inter-office memo landed in my
spam filterinbox this morning suggesting I give NakedCityLA.com some love today in honor of Halloween.
The memo was signed AV Flox. Of course, she needs my help. I'm flattered.
So this is a big city, and though most nights in Hollywood are excuses for women to dress up like whores and men to be loud and embarrass themselves, Halloween is an extra-special exception.
Ladies: Take any character you see in your daily life. Add the adjective "slutty" and you've got a costume. Bad-a-bing.
- Slutty bank teller --> Unbutton the shirt, take the hair down and stuff money in your bra.
- Slutty construction worker --> Wear a bikini underneath an orange safety vest and make sure your "SLOW" sign is insertable.
- Slutty Crazy Girls stripper --> Smile.
Gents: Just buy a stupid mask on Melrose or wear a Bedazzled fedora and call yourself Ed Hardy. Just put on something that'll hide your face (in case you're a little ugly) and allow you to make a complete ass of yourself.
Cuz chances are you're gonna get laid anyway. Chicks totally put out on Halloween. It's science.
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Oh right, back to my forced point. Wanna know what parties to douche out to this weekend? NakedCityLA.com will tell you.
Tell AV Flox I said "Hi." She'll be the one in the corner chain smoking in a fur stole waiting for her iPhone to refresh.