Osama Bin Laden's Soggy Remains to Be Hunted by SoCal Shipwreck Diver
Bill Warren, 69-year old American hero
Before his May 2011 takedown, Osama bin Laden was one of the most hunted men alive: Many a bounty hunter and
U.S. soldier gone freelance vied for his $25 million head.
And in death, turns out, the Al Qaeda mastermind is still relatively popular:
Bill Warren, an over-the-hill (but very much still kickin') shipwreck diver from Oceanside, California, is planning a two-week mission to recover Bin Laden's bullet-ridden remains at the bottom of the North Arabian Sea.
Pyschotic, yes. Publicity stunt, maybe. Or could Warren's mission be an "Odyssey"-like epic to put the American conscience at ease?
In an interview with "Good Morning America" this a.m., Warren explained that once he locates Bin Laden's corpse, he'll photograph it and extract DNA samples (gross) for further testing. In this way, the Good Samaritan says he'll provide the peace of mind that U.S. President Barack Obama failed to deliver in the aftermath of Operation Neptune Spear.
Making it very possible that Warren's story is simply a media magnet to further the scary-conservative, anti-Obama agenda of the northern San Diego County Republicans.
Treasure-hunting explorer Bill Warren tells TMZ, the purpose of the excursion "is to try to find out if [Osama] is really dead and to provide to the world the proof that he is ... We do this because we are patriotic Americans and feel that President Obama failed to provide the proof."
Bill adds, "I do not trust my government or Obama."
Still, we wish him luck on what looks to be Mission Impossible -- a needle-in-the-haystack search of kilometers and kilometers worth of pitch-black ocean floor. This is one optimistic deather:
"We intend to locate/recover his body and photograph and video tape him, then do a DNA test on the ship," Warren tells TMZ. This will require "several boats... top of the line technology" and hundreds of thousands of dollars.
To silence naysayers, he'll be accompanied by a team of underwater cameramen, reports Wonkette:
Warren will even take a documentary crew with him, to help declare the ocean Osama-free with hours of footage of nothing. The North Arabian Sea floor is your new Hawaii Department of Health: RELEASE THE
CERTIFICATEBODY. Why is the ocean protecting Obama?
If by some miracle Warren does succeed, though, the pics would be priceless: Former leader of the world's most feared terrorist group, all wound in seaweed with a clownfish in his eye socket. Operation Meme, commence.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.
- Super Bowl Weekend DUI Crackdown Starts Tonight
- Taxpayer-Backed Earthquake Warnings Go to Secret List of Private Companies
- El Niño Who? Summer-Like Conditions Are on the Way