Update: Three uncensored photos of the love child. His name is Joseph.
Updated after the jump: Photos of the snazzy $268,000 Bakersfield spread, rumored to have been purchased for Baena by her loving baby daddy. Do we smell a buy-off? Also, a photo of the "couple" in 1994 confirms: She's got nothing on Maria Shriver.
Update: Baena may have been fired by Schwarzenegger only a month ago, in a last-minute attempt to save his marriage. Looks like it may have done the opposite -- creating an even stickier, blackmail-type situation.
Update: Unfortunately for her love child, Mildred Baena's MySpace is still public. Here's an unblurred photo of the two of them. And here's another. TMZ was right -- the 14-year-old looks just like Arnold. Lord have mercy.
Didn't take long for the tabloids to track down the identity of Schwarzenegger's former mistress: 50-year-old Mildred Patricia Baena, nicknamed "Patty," the family's housekeeper of 20 years (she just quit in January; good timing).
As for the love child himself -- a modern-day Hercules of sorts -- even RadarOnline isn't trashy enough to release his 10-year-old mug to the ruthless whims of the Internet, saying it "has decided not to identify Schwarzenegger's love child at this time and has obscured the young man's face in this photo of him and his mother."
Here's the censured Radar version:
So, given Baena's relative fugliness, her fling with Schwarzenegger obviously had more to do with his notorious levels of chest-pumping, spread-me-Austrian-seed testosterone than any edge his maid had over his wife. (A la Jude Law.)
TMZ is cutting Schwarzenegger a break, making Baena out to be quite the conniving seductress:
Sources tell TMZ -- in the late '90s Patty began to "pursue Arnold." She told friends they would have unprotected sex during the day at the house. Patty never slept overnight at the house and no one ever caught them in the act.
We're told when she became pregnant, she didn't tell Arnold he was the father. Arnold didn't learn he was the daddy until the boy was a toddler.
Patty -- who made $1,200 a week -- was treated well by Arnold once he found out. Sources say Arnold was always "generous."
The Baena announcement also improves chances that Schwarzenegger is father to a second love child, whose baby mama is allegedly a blonde stewardess who served on the governator's private jet for 20 years. Sounds familiar. [Update: The stewardess says a paternity test has disproved that theory. But Gawker maintains that there are for sure two love children.]
Goddamn -- the Muscle Beach meathead turned elected leader of California (so embarrassing) has really outdone himself this time. And not in a good way. Dude makes Dominique Strauss-Kahn look like a gentleman.
KTLA reports that Baena lives a couple hours outside L.A. with the love child and her three other children, in a four-bedroom house with a pool. Not bad. CBS2 says it's in Bakersfield, and has already hauled ass out to the premises to ramble dramatically into gaudy news microphones and peer in windows and such.
We're pretty confused as to how Maria Shriver just found out about this kid. TMZ says "his features are eerily like Arnold's ... especially the mouth and teeth" (poor little guy). Shriver has historically stood by her husband during other perv scandals with shameless amounts of evidence; namely, the Times' humiliating groping series.
So she's either been blind, in denial or she didn't think coming to terms with the truth was worth ruining those picture-perfect his and hers political careers. As of last night, though, that's all out the window.
Shriver's last word:
"As a mother my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment."
Not much else you can say, as soon-to-be ex-wife of The Inseminator. Our condolences.
Update: The most enlightening piece we've read on the love-child saga so far is by the Times investigator behind the 2003 interviews with women who claimed they'd been groped by Schwarzenegger. She relays her frustration that powerful men are able to get away with such hardcore degradation of women, from sexual harassment to rape, and still come out ahead:
[The gropees'] experiences with Schwarzenegger were double humiliations. First they suffered through the acts themselves: demeaning-often public-groping, unwanted, invasive kisses, crude, belittling comments.
Far worse, they felt forced by circumstance to let Schwarzenegger behave badly--like an over-indulged toddler, as one woman put it. A complaint against the bigger-than-life moneymaker could tank their careers. Not a single woman felt anyone would have taken their side or chastised the star.
And they were right.
Election Day arrived and Schwarzenegger was elected by a wide margin. The Los Angeles Times was castigated for smearing Schwarzenegger close to the election. Ten thousand readers cancelled their subscriptions. I received a string of vicious calls and emails. The women were branded as liars desperate for a share of fame.
For further reading (we know you want it), see "Arnold Schwarzenegger's lies have a familiar ring," in which the Times' catty Steve Lopez shows how the love-child coverup is a sad reflection of Schwarzenegger's cheap, ego-driven stint as California governor. Really though -- how did we not see this coming?
Update: RadarOnline is working this story like the Terminator in heat. This morning, "one of the Mildred's closest confidantes" tells the online tabloid that the governor's former housekeeper was working for his family up until four weeks ago, when "she was told there was no longer work for her." She was reportedly livid.
The source tells Radar that "Mildred even entertained the idea of coming forward and speaking with a magazine." At that point, it seems Schwarzenegger had no choice but to come forward himself, if he wanted to retain any scrap of dignity.
This certainly clears up the question of whether Arnold was actually "sorry" or just sorry he got caught. Blackmail's a bitch.
Update: This story took 14 years to leak, but only 24 hours to spill all its ugly innards over the Internet. E! Online posted photos of the four-bedroom in Bakersfield, complete with backyard pool area:
Property records show that Baena purchased the house last year for $268,000, but neighbor Mary Steelman spills to the New York Times that "the real estate agent who sold the house to Ms. Baena in June" told her "it had been purchased by Mr. Schwarzenegger for an employee who was retiring."
Neighbors are reportedly both bothered and intrigued by the rush of media attention on their quiet cul-de-sac. Only a love child could spawn this kind of clusterfuck:
Oh, and here's another picture worth a thousand words: TMZ dug up an oldie-but-goodie (see right) of the Governator dancing with Baena in 1994 -- three years before the fateful insemination. "Arnold Schwarzenegger was bumpin' and grindin' with his maid Mildred Patty Baena at a private party in the actor's home," writes TMZ.
This confirms two things, at least: 1) Shriver has been in total and utter denial for years, and 2) Baena's current fugliness is not just a symptom of age and motherhood. Nope -- she always looked like this. Worse, even. Go Arnold!
Update: Here's another photo of the two of them, circa 2000. (Gotta admit, this is getting a little exhausting.) TMZ identifies the child in the housekeeper's arms as Christopher Schwarzenegger, Arnold's child with Maria. Horrifyingly, Christopher was born just a week before the love child, making the kids' consummation dates wayyy too close for comfort. How crappy must both children be feeling today? And how hard must the Kennedys be plotting Arnold's freak private-jet accident in the wake of all this legacy-shaming maid screwage?
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Originally posted May 17 at 11:15 p.m.