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Marijuana's Top 5 Uses, From Real University Research

Marijuana: It does a body good.
Marijuana: It does a body good.
Robert Bejil

Here in California, marijuana is legal for just about any ailment you can dream up.

And while medical cannabis supporters have argued that the drug is a harmless tool for grandmothers with cancer who want to forget their pain and spark their appetites, there has been plenty of academic research on all the wonderful things weed can do too.

Yeah, we know most of you just make stuff up when you go to the doctor to get your recommendations in this pot shop capital of America, but behold, the bold claims of science when it comes to prime, grade-A bud:

Tom Cruise in 'Born on The Fourth of July.'
Tom Cruise in 'Born on The Fourth of July.'

5. Our top 5 marijuana-triggered cures starts with post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD). The pro-pot folks at the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies think that cannabis "can help reduce PTSD symptoms in fifty veterans with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)," according to a summary of a study approved by the FDA.

What we think: Giving weed of the uber-strong varieties (Michael Phelps, O.G. Kush, Blue Ivy) found in L.A. pot shops will only give veterans flashbacks and unpleasant visions. Really.

Marijuana's Top 5 Uses, From Real University Research

4. As far out as it might seem to propose marijuana as a cure for veterans with serious PTSD problems, some researchers are claiming that pot could help you with ... your cocaine habit! Yeah. Some celebrities around here have already been doing research with coke and weed. But the National Institute on Drug Abuse says cannabis could actually do the trick by modulating "cocaine's rewarding and locomotor-stimulating effects, likely by inhibiting cocaine-enhanced dopamine in the nucleus accumbens." Not sure what that means. So long as smoking weed is good for you.

Marijuana's Top 5 Uses, From Real University Research
GLACA

3. While folks like Dr. Drew Pinsky have been suggesting for years that pot can push you into a fog of depression and perhaps contribute to suicidal thoughts, new research is positioning L.A.'s favorite drug as a possible antidepressant. That's right, researchers in Germany recently looked at the suicide rates in medical marijuana states like California and found that they've gone down since we (quasi) legalized it. They argue that "medical marijuana laws reduce the risk of suicide by decreasing alcohol consumption."

Yet another reason to call your neighborhood Dr. Feelgood for a recommendation.

Marijuana's Top 5 Uses, From Real University Research

2. The stereotype of the pot user as a surfing, slacking, weed-tard is all wrong. Research published in the journal Epidemiology and Community Health found that British folks they looked at who scored high on IQ tests as kids were much more likely to be marijuana users as adults. Meaning: Pot smokers are the smart people in society. (Until they order Domino's delivery).

Marijuana's Top 5 Uses, From Real University Research

1. A pair of studies suggest that marijuana users are more responsible drivers: German academics (again with those Germans) stated last year traffic fatalities in medical marijuana states like California have gone down as much as 9 percent. Why? They argued that pot users get stoned-in at home and don't go out drinking and driving as much. Really.

Likewise, researchers at Hartford Hospital in Connecticut and the University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine found that stoned drivers did just about as well as sober ones. (High five). Researchers there noted that high drivers slowed down and were more deliberate.

Despite this being our favorite research on pot, our corporate counsel tells us to remind you not to test this out for yourselves.

[@dennisjromero / djromero@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]


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