The folks who run the Grammy Awards want to remind you, dear readers, that you are not important or glamorous enough to score a ticket to the big show that airs every February.
So don't even try.
For if you do, you will be treated like a common intruder and tossed out on your ass.
This warning from the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences comes in the form of a lawsuit against Arizona-based ticket company, Western States Ticket Service, whose Website - up until several days ago - claimed to offer Grammy tickets ranging from $500 to $4,500 a pop.
Problem is, the tickets are given to big shots by invite only and you, the unwashed polloi, are not welcome and cannot simply buy a seat.
In its lawsuit, the Academy makes clear that anyone who gets caught trying to get in to the Grammys using a ticket purchased from Western States Ticket Service will be subject to "ejection" as "trespassers."
To be fair, however, the Academy does it in the nicest way, going after the ticket company in the name of saving you, the wannabe, from humiliation.
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SHOW ME HOW
According to the lawsuit, first reported by Courthouse News Service, the Academy started haranguing the ticket company in 2007, telling it to cease and desist from selling tickets to the awards show. But, the lawsuit states, the company kept doing it in 2008, 2009 and 2011.
Apparently fed up, the Academy decided to sue, seeking a court injunction to prevent the ticket company from making a profit off of music fans and star-fuckers desperate to attend the Grammys.
The ticket sales company has "offered to sell ... tickets to the GRAMMY Awards ceremony knowing that any unauthorized transfer or sale is unlawful, [and] will automatically render the tickets void," claims the Academy. "Thus, defendants are perpetrating a fraud on the public."
Nice to know the guys at the Grammys got your back, even if they don't want you around.