Updated at the bottom with naughty pics of Korean man's suitcase.
Originally posted at 10:35 a.m.
Exactly one week ago, Customs officers at LAX made the giggle-bust of a lifetime: They discovered 63 pounds of tadalafil, the generic form of erectile-dysfunction drug Cialis, in one idiot's carryon.
The 40-year-old Korean man in question, who has not been identified by name (likely to spare him a lifetime of humiliation), tried to tell the officers that "the powder was a Chinese herb," a Customs spokesman tells City News Service.
However, like good terror busters, the inspectors remained skeptical of the "several heat-sealed pouches containing a white powdery substance" inside his carryon.
Seriously? What foreigner in his right mind stuffs little cocaine-looking baggies into luggage he knows will be X-rayed by airport security? Have the citizens of the world learned nothing from Paris Hilton? (Come to think of it, erectile-dysfunction drugs are actually kind of the best-case scenario for the outcome of an LAX lab test on "white powdery substance.")
In all, the drugs ended up being worth about $180,000. So either dude was experiencing some major shortcomings of his own, or thought he might profit off similar woes plaguing his home country.
Stupid (alleged) criminals of the future, here's why toting around 63 pounds of penis pills is not such a foolproof business plan, as relayed by Customs spokesman to City News:
"A filed application or approval is required to introduce a new drug into interstate commerce, which the passenger lacked.''
We've reached out to CBP for photos, if they exist. Crossing our fingers.
Update: Photos below! Also, we'd like to make a slight correction: Korean smuggler was flying into LAX, not out of it.
The LA Daily News reports that in with the tadalafil was "a pair of socks" and "some underwear," which is definitely worth a second round of giggles. And some fascinating background on the erectile-dysfunction drug trade, via CBP sources:
"It's clear that the sole purpose of his trip was to smuggle this into the U.S. for further distribution after it was encapsulated or pressed into pill form. There are possible health and safety risks for using this type of drug when it isn't used in a legitimate, sterile environment."
"There's a black market for illegal pharmaceuticals, but they can really be a risk to your health, unlike wearing a fake Rolex. People believe they're getting a good deal, but it could actually do more harm than good."
All right -- here's proof. Can't believe the guy got all the way to "a secondary baggage screening" before someone noticed this sketchpile:
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That '90s printer is probably feeling like a million bucks today. Schwing!