Kevin Costner Says His Giant Salad Tosser Will Clean Up Gulf Oil Spill

Kevin Costner Says His Giant Salad Tosser Will Clean Up Gulf Oil Spill

Kevin Costner testified before the House Energy and Environment subcommittee this week that he's got the answer to what is likely to become the worst environmental disaster in American history. Because when massive oil spills happen that not even global mega-corporations or the world's most powerful nation can handle, what we really need is a Hollywood actor who hasn't carried a movie since Bill Clinton was president to come to the rescue. (This is too easy). Costner's secret weapon?

Costner actually testified as an expert in the matter because he's a $20-million-plus investor in Ocean Therapy Solutions, which produced a device that takes oil out of water using centrifugal force.

This thing is like a giant salad tosser -- genius. (Actually, don't such forces actually mix oil and water? What do we know, we're not actors). Costner must have come up with the idea as his vinaigrette started to separate at the Ivy. (By the way, we're big investors in beer products, so any time you need related testimony, Congress, give the Weekly a call).

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"What I can provide is a technology that is available immediately, a technology that will allow rigs to resume operation and put people back to work," Costner promised.

We suggest Costner plug the leaking oil well with the many of his DVDs that have ended up in the $1 bins.


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