There's a new site in town. You post information about yourself, your interests, dislikes. Include photo albums and hobbies and you appear even more human and desirable.
But you'll never ever waste a minute purchasing fertilizer and building barns in a hypothetical cartoon barnyard. Why not? Because this site is for sex, and not the Craigslist Casual Encounters type.
iVoyeur.com broke onto the Internet with one goal in mind: connecting the millions of lifestyleists in the U.S. to explore each other's fantasies, fetishes and preferences in a safe, neutral and monitored environment.
"You post something to meet someone who you envision as being more spicy than the average person," said the founder, who uses the name Alan Ramone in his capacity as CEO of the company. "You post information about yourself - these are my likes, these are my dislikes. ...But it's more sexual in tone. It's not, 'I like my hair brown.' It's sort of, 'Hi, these are the sexual pleasures I enjoy thoroughly. Are you interested?'"
Like thousands of the site's members, Ramone himself has been part of the "lifestyle" for a decade and was inspired to build the site to offer the swinger community a private - and discreet - place online to communicate with others who live the life with a bit more class than the average Joe.
Content posted by members is monitored as soon as a new one signs up and starts the profile-update process, making sure no porn, sexually aggressive talk or imagery, or anything depicting illegal acts are shared.
Ramone even invested in online security systems that assure no personal information shared on iVoyeur can be shared or found elsewhere online. Cuz you don't want your potential employer or the chick you're about to meet from Match.com to accidentally come across your swinger profile while Googling your name.
There's even information about health, wine and other culturally relevant and nonsexual activities so you can find a fun new bistro to take your two new BFFs before swapping partners for dessert.
iVoyeur's now 10,000-plus users are active with a free membership as they've agreed to peruse and work through the site to detect any bugs or glitches in the process. Once beta testing is complete memberships will be available for $30 a month.
Now what does it mean to live the "lifestyle"? It runs the gamut, but the core of the practice is couples who trade partners or engage in sexual activities with each other that stretch beyond the traditional.
iVoyeur is a place for lifestyleists on both ends of the spectrum. There are those who simply enjoy watching what's happening, "vanilla" players who are into it but not physically involved in the act, and total newbs who are still getting their feet wet.
The other end of the swinger spectrum includes single male "bulls" who meet up with others' wives, single female "unicorns" who do the same with husbands, and couples who engage in full-on partner swaps.
And it's not as uncommon as you'd think. Ramone argues his research says there's upwards of 6 million Americans who take part in the lifestyle in some way and possibly 25 million around the world.
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Who knows how accurate those estimates are, but there's a good chance your neighbor or librarian might be one of them.
But 30 bucks a month? Sure, you could just use Facebook and Craigslist for free, but why bother with all of the red tape? You never know who you'll end up finding on Missed Connections, and bringing up the idea of swapping partners with a couple you poke on Facebook likely will result in a flag for inappropriateness. Or at the very least a frown face and a click of the Unlike button.
When you've got a hankering for sushi, you don't go to a diner and hope it's on the menu. You head to your favorite Japanese joint, the one with the cloth napkins and little stand to prop your chopsticks on.
Plus, you know the fish will be fresh.