Gosh. Imagine the disappointment. America! We made it.
Wait, no. It's just a deserted island. No Lindsay Lohan. Not even a car wash.
That was the case over the weekend when 15 suspected illegals landed on Santa Cruz Island, one of the famed Channel Islands off the Ventura County Coast.
To make things worse, when they apparently realized there were no immigrant-hating American families there to babysit for ...
... one of them called 911 via cellphone. (We love this aspect of the story, too. We're giving up our previous lives and heading to America with just the clothes on our backs ... so we can pay our AT&T wireless bills! Right?).
No es bueno.
And so, a U.S. Coast Guard MH-65 helicopter and a Coast Guard cutter were dispatched to rescue the 15 on Sunday after the they had spent the weekend on the island.
The immigrants were taken to Santa Barbara and would be turned over to U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers, Coast Guard spokesman Adam Eggers said.
'Tis the season for immigrants washing ashore. We reported on how 10 suspected illegals came ashore near County Line north of Malibu last last month.
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If smugglers told this latest crew of 15 that Santa Cruz Island was the promised land, they were obviously lying.
Oh, the irony? The island, like all of SoCal, once belonged to Mexico.
Added: We were just thinking, what would be the threshold for dialing 911 and asking for a free ride back to Mexico? Okay, we know a deserted island counts. But what if you ended up in Lancaster? Or Rialto? Or, god forbid, Barstow? Would you just dial 911 and hope to be airlifted out?