How to Pull Off a Threesome Without Scars and She-drama

The fantasy goes something like this.You meet a hot girl at a bar who happens to have a hot friend. You somehow convince them to return to your place and group sex breaks out.

Well, in reality, it usually isn't that easy. At least, not since the 80s when everyone had piles of cocaine laying around. (Mental note: buy more blow.)

Anyway, a threesome usually has to initiate when you're in some sort of relationship. In other words, one person has to talk the other person into the positive aspects of bringing a third person into the sexual mix.

That's not always easy. I've tried – a lot.

If you're in a committed relationship, you get a lot of, “Well, I just don't want to share you with anyone else.”

What the hell do you say to that?

“I don't give a fuck. I need some new pussy.”

Doesn't work so well.

Once in a while, you'll run across a woman who's as sexually liberated and confident as you are (or as you pretend to be).

Then you're golden, except for a few small hurdles.

In short, you probably don't want your woman feeling the pangs of jealousy, anger, regret or resentment. Unless, that is, you just don't give a shit.

Assuming you do, you're now playing a game of politics and I'm your political advisor.



1. You have to let her pick the other woman. If you pick the other woman or start suggesting women, she's going to start thinking crazy things in her crazy woman head, like “maybe you like these other broads better than me,”. And maybe you do, but she doesn't need to know that.
It's safe. Let her choose. In the end, trust that no one wants an ugly chick in there. 



2. If you're lucky enough to get to the actual event – and let me tell you, it's a fucking event – you have to make sure you're dividing your time appropriately.

A friend of mine said it best – you have to pretend you're not more interested in the new pussy than you are in the old pussy.

It's a tough task and one I've failed miserably. Of course you're going to be more interested in the new pussy. It's like buying a new car. It smells nice, it looks great, it rides smooth and you prefer driving it over the used model with the dent in the fender sitting in your garage.

Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the old model. It's just not as shiny and cool. It's just not as new.

So what do you do?

Well, you can actually make sure to pay attention to both women equally, but that isn't any fun and it's too much work, so let's look at your other options.



3. Drugs are your friend.

So is booze for that matter. Use them. Dole these things out freely. Not only is there a better chance these broads won't remember certain aspects of who was doing what, but they're sure to shed a few inhibitions along the journey as well.

Personally, I prefer ecstasy. Everyone stays happy and you have a built in excuse for tearing up the wrong pussy.

“Sorry baby, I was wasted. Just going with the flow.”

4. Turn your threesome into a foursome.

Brilliant, right?

Well, unfortunately, the fourth needs to be another dude.

Adding another dick to the mix ensures both women are getting one at all times.

More importantly, it's also a free pass. In all likelihood, your woman is going to end up fucking this other guy, so you can do whatever the hell you want.

This situation requires you to be a little more careful, of course. Unless, that is, you like dick yourself.

If you don't, make sure this foursome is taking place on a large bed – queen or above only – or you may end up crossing swords.



Unfortunately, none of these strategies are foolproof, but they're as close as you're going to get if you don't want to find your ass on the street.

There is, after all, something to be said for a broad who will let you engage in a threesome to begin with.

Keep her happy and you'll be the biggest swingin' dick on your block.


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