Some of these statements are uncommonly stupid (though nothing can match the Jessica Simpson I dont eat buffalo comment about meaty chicken wings). Some are daringly honest. And some are ridiculously mendacious. Heres hoping you can tell the difference:
Some of the programs just sucked. NBC Broadcast, Cable and News president Jeff Zucker, about why NBC axed so many fall shows, including its heavily hyped U.S. version of the big British sitcom hit Coupling
U.S. Coupling was commissioned by NBC, promoted as the new Friends by NBC (we asked them not to), promoted as the sexiest show on TV by NBC (we begged them not to), promoted as the show youre all talking about by NBC (no one had seen it, how could they be talking about it?), scheduled by NBC, noted to death by NBC, canceled by NBC, and publicly blamed and disowned by NBC. Steven Moffat, the writer and creator of Coupling
Once we watched it, we were mortified. ABC Entertainment president Susan Lyne about the networks crappy reality show Are You Hot?
I was just playing a part. If I knew what everything was, it wouldnt be funny. Paris Hilton, on whether she was for real when she asked her Arkansas hosts on The Simple Life, Whats Wal-Mart? Do they sell walls there?
Im going to be the biggest ass ever on this show and win a million dollars doing it. Survivor: Pearl Islands contestant Jon Dalton, who concocted a lie that his elderly grandmother had died simply to elicit sympathy and win a reward challenge
Sumner Redstone and I have never had a conversation about the Reagan miniseries, never once. CBS head Les Moonves, about accusations he caved to his bosses to deep-six the Reagans TV movie because of right-wing bullying
I began conversations about converting to a producer deal because the learning curve was beginning to dissipate. John Goldwyn, vice chairman of Paramounts motion-picture group and Paramounts president, about suddenly leaving his job
I started wanting to do this right after I paid my income taxes this year. Arthur Cohen, president of worldwide marketing for Paramounts motion-picture group, about suddenly leaving his job
I told him, We dont have to change it to a Prius. Let him drive a Porsche. Warner Bros. chief Alan Horn, an ardent environmentalist, on what he told one of his production executives after reading a script portraying a hero driving a Hummer
Lets just say, with my tickets to the Golden Globes this year, they sent me binoculars. Alan Horn on why he finally started a specialty film unit after years of seeing his profitable Warner movies being passed over at awards time
You mean these awards arent given on the merits? U.S. District Judge Michael B. Mukasey, commenting on the Oscars during a court hearing about the screener ban
They are given on the merits, just like political elections are on the merits. Attorney Richard Cooper, representing the plaintiffs who support the screener ban, responding to Judge Mukaseys question
Maybe Oscars are like pizzas; if you deliver them sooner, people are more interested. Bruce Davis, executive director of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, on why the Academy Awards were moved up by a month for 2004
Theres always the case of Michael Eisner firing us, but that might be a cause for celebration in all quarters ours included. Miramax co-chairman Harvey Weinstein, about possibly breaching a ban on sending movie tapes to Academy Award voters
Disneys CEO, Michael Eisner, is Jewish; the chief of Miramax, Harvey Weinstein, is Jewish. Yes, there are plenty of Christian and other Hollywood executives who worship money above all else, promoting for profit the adulation of violence. Does that make it right for Jewish executives to worship money above all else, by promoting for profit the adulation of violence? Recent European history alone ought to cause Jewish executives to experience second thoughts about glorifying the killing of the helpless as a fun lifestyle choice. Journalist Gregg Easterbrook, opining on The New Republics Web site in a blog about the Disney/Miramax movie Kill Bills violence
He makes every film better. Walt Disney Studio chairman Dick Cook, describing what his boss Michael Eisner does during story meetings about movie scripts
I can fully understand the suspicion of possible nepotism with my son as a candidate. Rupert Murdoch, facing down rebel shareholders at British Sky Broadcasting who opposed his appointing 30-year-old son James as chief executive
People want to believe that were a bunch of crazy people running around ignoring the rules. Peter Chernin, News Corp.s No. 2, on accusations that boss Rupert Murdoch does whatever the hell he wants to at the company, in defiance of corporate governance
Ron came in when it was owned by a Japanese appliance company that sold it to a liquor company that subsequently sold it to a water-treatment company. GE vice chairman Bob Wright, deciding to hang on to Vivendi Universal Entertainments Ron Meyer after NBC sewed up its $14 billion transaction to take over VUE
Failure is a very good teacher. Joe Roth, on his Revolution Studios box-office bombs like Tears of the Sun, Hollywood Homicide and Gigli, which played havoc with both his reputation as a moviemaker and Sonys moviemaking bottom line
Were very happy with the arrangement. Amy Pascal, head of Sony Picture Entertainments movie production, about the studios deal with Roths Revolution
I dont want to be associated with some Stripperella crap. Director Spike Lee, claiming that Viacoms changing the name of its TNN cable network to Spike TV was an attempt to unfairly trade on his name and reputation
Well, leave it to a network for men to launch prematurely. Albie Hecht, president of Spike TV, about the effect of Spike Lees injunction against the channel
We didnt know what to expect in marriage anyway, so we thought that it was the perfect time to actually have cameras with us. Jessica Simpson, telling CNN why she and her husband, singer Nick Lachey, agreed to do their MTV reality show, Newlyweds
So what if I thought Chicken of the Sea tuna was actually chicken? Or that I thought buffalo wings were actually made out of buffaloes. So what if I cried for three whole days when I thought Peter Pan was ground up to make peanut butter? So what if I never learned to read or write, and when I sign autographs, I have to sign with an X? Justin Timberlake, playing Jessica Simpson on Saturday Night Live
I save a million bucks, and the deficit grows like William Bennetts credit line on a one-armed-bandit bender at Ballys. Ben Affleck, accepting a liberal political award and explaining why rich people dont need the Bush administrations tax cuts
I have a perfect part for you in my movie Terminator 4. Arnold Schwarzenegger, trying to fend off repeated attacks from Arianna Huffington during the only gubernatorial-recall debate the actor agreed to participate in
Yes, it is true that I was on rowdy movie sets and I have done things that were not right which I thought then was playful, but I now recognize that I have offended people. Gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger, after denying, admitting, then not remembering sexually groping women against their will as detailed in a Los Angeles Times article
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Im going to check right away your tax returns. Newly elected Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, complaining to Jay Leno that The Tonight Show host shouldnt have looked at his watch during Arnolds election-night victory party, which Leno emceed
Really, if I had an opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would. Maryland first lady Kendel Ehrlich complaining about the pop princess sexually provocative image. Later, the governors wife claimed to have been kidding
I had never seen him violent like that, with a gun or anything, not personally. Accused murderer Phil Spectors ex-wife, who once testified he threatened to hire a hit man to kill her
It was like the worst Baretta we ever shot in my life. Robert Blake, about the day police came to arrest him on charges he murdered his wife.