Hate the Taste of Semen? Here's How to Make Swallowing More Pleasant
To spit or swallow, that is the question.
Despite there being scientific evidence that shows semen might be good for a person's health, there are still those who don't like the taste of a man's milky nectar.
Step in semen-flavor-hater Masque, flavored gel strips meant to "enhance personal intimacy."
For $12, consumers can acquire a three-pack of flavored strips that come in three flavors: chocolate, strawberry, watermelon and, soon, mango.
While there are those of us who may not object to the taste of spooge, those who can't take the natural flavor may actually have good reason to. A few years back, Jerry A. Coyne, PhD, a professor in the Department of Ecology and Evolution at the University of Chicago, shared a theory about the adaptive significance of semen flavor.
Natural selection maintains the repugnant taste of semen so that a man's sperm will wind up in the appropriate place: the vagina and not the stomach. So long as sperm tastes bad, women will not be tempted to swallow it, but will turn their male partner towards conventional intercourse, which of course is the only act that will produce children. In other words, any male with good-tasting sperm would have fewer offspring than his competitors. A man whose sperm tasted like honey would probably not have any children at all.
Repugnant? Really? Are we the only ones who don't think semen tastes "repugnant?" Sure, we've all swallowed semen that tastes less than heavenly with some of our male partners, but let's be honest here: some men don't try. That is, the flavor of semen can be enhanced to taste better. And that holds as true for a man's flavor, as it does for a woman's.
Skip the consumerist propaganda -- treat you and your honey to a fruit salad
It's no secret that lifestyle habits such as smoking cigarettes and eating high volumes of red meat can make a person's juices taste less than stellar, but it's important to note that those actions also aren't all that great for a person's health. It even can reduce of a man's sperm count and cause infertility.
Instead of paying $12 every time you decide to go down on your man's meatsicle, consider instead some healthier options for both your wallet and your body.
- Green tea
Masque offers the tagline "expect flowers tomorrow," but let's be honest, if you want your man to enjoy going down on you, nothing can compete with you enjoying going down on your man.
Skip the consumerist propaganda, treat you and your honey to a fruit salad, and you may be surprised how delightfully tasty oral sex between you and your partner can be.
It's the organic way to "enhance personal intimacy."
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.
- Shot Twice in the Back: Family of Brendon Glenn Sues LAPD
- Driver of Uber-Marked Car Fatally Shot
- Hollywood Hates Women a Little Bit Less This Year