Helicopter parents don't get much more loopy than this:
The obsessed mother and father of graduating senior Elisha Marquez are outraged that their daughter wasn't named Valedictorian of Eagle Rock High's Class of 2012, reports Patch. The local news site has a dizzying summary of all Marquez' achievements: She scored an internship at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab, a prestigious grant from Gates Millennium Scholars and a full-ride scholarship to Stanford, to name a few.
But according to Patch, her 4.5 GPA wasn't quite enough...
... to trump Jasmine Fernandez' 4.55 for the Valedictorian title.
School officials have reportedly ranked Fernandez "first for graduation among more than 500 students, while giving Marquez the second-place Salutatorian award."
Oh no they didn't.
Marquez' parents have since launched a war against the district, going so far as to get state officials involved. The extreme measures they have taken to earn their daughter the gold medal, according to Patch:
• Her dad wrote a letter to LAUSD's director for District 4, arguing that Marquez hadn't been allowed to take as many AP classes as Fernandez in the ninth grade, seeing as she was in the "gifted" program instead of the "magnet" program. (The letter is actually a lot more complicated than that, as psycho parent rants go, but we'll spare you the painful technicalities.)
• Her dad also wrote a letter to the California Department of Education's Office of Equal Opportunity, arguing that his daughter's grades for the second semester of senior year -- which he claims would put her ahead of Fernandez -- should be factored into Eagle Rock High's race for Valedictorian.
• Marquez' mother tells Patch that if things don't work out the Marquez way, "We'll sue the LAUSD and ask them, 'Okay, can you now make the final ranking?' We just want to prove them wrong."
It appears both state and district officials have brushed off the parents' requests in full.
A sarcastic Patch commenter named John Goldfarb sums up Mr. and Mrs. Marquez' incredibly first-world problems: "This is really tragic -- imagine being ranked only second in your class, being accepted to Harvard, and having to accept a full scholarship to Stanford. No wonder her poor outraged parents are threatening to sue the district. My heart goes out to them."
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Yeah, what he said.
Good to see bully parenting is alive and well in Eagle Rock -- even setting new standards for tiger moms and dads throughout the nation.
We've contacted both Marquez and Fernandez for comment via Facebook. Their graduation ceremony reportedly takes place today, so keep your eye out for on-stage hair-pulling or motherly purse brawls in the crowd. This could get real.