Don't Buy An iPad This Christmas! (A New One's Coming Out In April, Say Chinese Spies)

The iPad 2 will upgrade to laser-proof gorilla tape
The iPad 2 will upgrade to laser-proof gorilla tape

Nothing to damper your love affair with the bright, shiny new iPad in your stocking like finding out in February that a brighter, shinier, probably way cooler one now exists, rendering your dark, dull 2010 version a total clunker. Luckily, dear consumer whore, it's not too late to spare yourself that sorrow.

Nerd blog DigiTimes received a tip from "Taiwan-based component makers" that Foxconn Electronics, an iPad manufacturer in China, have been notified "they will ship Apple's iPad 2 within the next 100 days with initial shipments to reach 400,000-600,000 units."

Once the news started circling the web, Apple freaked:

Fearing they might sell only like one million iPads this season, the Apple Store slashed $100 off refurbished iPads yesterday. But everyone knows the draw of Apple products has never been a sale tag; we want the prettiest, sleekest, most futuristic model we can get, before anyone else can get it.

Good lucking selling the rest of them first-generation suckers, Apple:

The sources pointed out that Foxconn shipped about six million iPads in the third quarter of 2010, meaning there are about 1.8 million units of inventory left for the fourth quarter.

Rumor has it, the new iPad will in many ways resemble the new iPhone -- but of course bigger and therefore more wondrous. Want. Need. Wantneed. The UK Telegraph describes the new touch-screen wonder:

The iPad 2 is expected to feature a high resolution retina display, similar to the kind found on the iPhone 4, as well as front-facing camera for making FaceTime video calls, and an integrated gyroscope.

Annnd we just came in our pants a little bit.

In conclusion: Go back to from whence you came, refurbished piece of boner-killing crap. We're holding out for the good stuff.


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