Doing It #2
Meet the Armchair. We tried it.
TJ: Yeah, it was pretty fun.
Tatiana: What do you mean? We didn't even do it really. We tried, but...
TJ: No, it was good…once we got into it.
Anaheim Ducks v. San Jose Sharks
TicketsFri., Dec. 9, 7:00pm
Los Angeles Lakers v Phoenix Suns - Verified Resale Tickets
TicketsFri., Dec. 9, 7:30pm
UCLA Bruins Men's Basketball vs. University of Michigan Men's Basketball
TicketsSat., Dec. 10, 5:00pm
Los Angeles D-Fenders vs. Austin Spurs
TicketsSat., Dec. 10, 6:30pm
Tatiana: That wasn't even the right position. The armchair was bullshit.
TJ: What the hell were we doing?
Tatiana: Resorting to something that felt good?
Toby: Oh. Yeah. But we'd try the armchair for a good 5-10 seconds. In the article, it says this position requires a lot of strength from the 'receiver.'
Tatiana: Which one's the receiver?
TJ: I think you were the one receiving. I guess it depends on what was being received. Maybe do some P90X in preparation.
Tatiana: I'm doing TurboJam! Same company.
TJ: Either way, this position made my pee-pee soft. Basically.
Tatiana: I think it's hot when you use the term pee-pee. Say it again.
TJ: Pee-pee. Soft pee-pee.
TJ: Maybe we were just lazy. I dunno. We would try it for a few seconds, then slip into something else.
Tatiana: Because it was a stupid, pointless position. The only way it worked for us is if I took my legs off his shoulders, or Toby would lay all the way back...and then still it was a pain. The only good thing about this is that Toby could roll forward and we'd already be in a position that was actually workable.
TJ: True. When it was going horribly wrong, I could easily roll into the default legs-over-head position. Hey, that would turn it into a rocking chair! Get it? Get it?
Tatiana: I don't get it?
TJ: Pee-pee. Soft.
Tatiana: You're turning me on. Let's go try it again.
Tatiana: Every time we tried getting back into this position, we'd just sit there. There's no room for trusting, it's just like…grinding.
TJ: Maybe you have to have freakishly long arms?
Tatiana: I'll switch to P90X and we'll report back in a few months. But if you're a mere mortal, I can't see how to make this enjoyable without serious modification. If you want to bring your lovemaking to a screeching halt, try the Armchair.
Check out what Tatiana thought BEFORE she actually opened her...mind...and tried it. The ARMCHAIR.
Contact Tatiana at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Los Angeles, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.