One such speaker struck a chord. I related to her painful story, her desperate need to simultaneously be understood and left the fuck alone by her mother, and her Level 99 jeans that I tried on at Anthropologie last season but never bought. (I sat front and center – necessity, not choice – and could see my reflection in her jeans' giant buttons.)
Ms. K shared with the crowd a glossary of terms that she and her main ho/best friend developed to allow them stealthy discussion of sexual acts without their nosy mothers figuring them out. They called it the Sexual Code, and I'm in the process of submitting these to Merriam-Webster for inclusion in some kind of printed reference material.
From the diary:
Los Angeles Lakers vs. Washington Wizards
TicketsWed., Oct. 25, 7:30pm
UCLA Men's Soccer v Oregon State & UCLA Women's Soccer v Stanford
TicketsThu., Oct. 26, 4:30pm
CSUN Womens Soccer
TicketsThu., Oct. 26, 7:00pm
Los Angeles Lakers vs. Toronto Raptors
TicketsFri., Oct. 27, 7:30pm
UCLA Women's Soccer v California & UCLA Men's Soccer v Washington
TicketsSun., Oct. 29, 1:00pm
7 January, 1991
Neville and I made up this awesome sexual code:
woman's area or else virgin
kissing with tongue
manual lower naughty things
roaming about but not in the area
only top clothed
only bottom clothed
stopping you from going further
performed on female
performed on male
no finger penetration
actual finger penetration
K is meticulously specific when it comes to areas of the body, roaming vs. local, and stimulation location. But when it comes to Alabama, anything goes.
And that's why Ms. K and I are gonna be BFFs…just as soon as I can track down her name and 900-number.
Image: Gregory Szarkiewicz.
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