Craigslist Missed Connections

THE MISSED CONNECTION:

Office Depot - m4w - 48 (Ventura Blvd. Encino)

Stopped my car around 10.30am this morning (convertible with the hood down) to let you cross in front of me so I could get a good look. I followed you into Office Depot, you broke the card reader when you swiped your card and we smiled at one another. I would love to suck on your nipples........

I've decided a play-by-play breakdown is the only way to truly evaluate whether or not the Missed Connection in question should “connect” with this 48-year-old.

Office Depot - m4w - 48 (Ventura Blvd. Encino) 

Neutral environment. Positive sign. Nothing shady or creepy about noticing someone attractive while choosing which red stapler reminds you the least of your mundane life.

Stopped my car around 10.30am this morning (convertible with the hood down) to let you cross in front of me so I could get a good look.

Convertible's a plus, but what kind? A Fiesta with the top down is still a Fiesta – exception to the rule involves beach gear sticking out the back, but dude's in Encino.

Props to him for letting said hottie cross the street, an uncommon show of character for a local driver. (But again, dude's in Encino.) Yielding is a non-threatening way to check out a chick without sputtering the farm-animal bleats so beloved by male L.A. drivers these days. (You know who you are.)

I followed you into Office Depot, you broke the card reader when you swiped your card and we smiled at one another.

Moving into stalker territory, and unless this chick's Lee press-ons got caught in the machine, I can't imagine how she managed to bust the machine with one swipe.

I would love to suck on your nipples........

Uh…

Only way to give this gentleman the benefit of the doubt is to assume the chick used her breasts to swipe/break the machine, and exposed herself in the process. I suppose anything's possible. Dude's in Encino.

THE CONSENSUS:

She's clearly the sharpest crayon on the Christmas tree. Combine that with his knack for written eloquence and you've got a match made in Staples. Or Office Depot, whatever. I say go for it, and if all else fails, they'll always have the cross walk.

Image: Graur Razvan Ionut.


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