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Best of L.A. 2007 Armageddon it!

Best of L.A. 2007 Armageddon it!

{mosimage} “There is something uneasy in the Los Angeles air,” Joan Didion wrote about the Santa Ana winds that blow through our flammable canyons. To imagine Los Angeles is to imagine its demise, by fire, by earthquake or by flood, by millenialist uprising or by alien attack, by anarchy or by corporatist takeover. Impermanence is written on our greatest buildings, which allow the outside in like sovereigns submitting to their occupiers, and most of our oldest structures, the souvenirs of  ancient Spanish rule, have at one time or another been reduced to low piles of stones before they are rebuilt. Some of us have earthquake kits in our basements, essential papers packed into fireproof boxes, and contingency plans for our grandparents’ frozen heads. Some of us plan to party like it’s 2099. And then there’s the matter of the last day of the Last Days.

Or as the wise sages of Def Leppard once posited: “Armageddon it! . . . Oh, are you getting it?”



Game Over

 

By GENDY ALIMURUNG


Quakes, asteroids, mass extinction — when the end comes, will it come from below, above or within?





(Illustrations by Peter Horvath, 3D lettering by Daniel Couto)

Sole Survivors By GENDY ALIMURUNG
Footcandy


Best Place to Sing Karaoke and Pick Up Chicks With Mr. Belding

By MATTHEW FLEISCHER

Dimples



Life in the Last Lane By LIBBY MOLYNEAUX

From Zero to 80 in 24 hours



Most Fabulous Dance Club Masquerading as a Tough-Guy Dive

 

By MATTHEW FLEISCHER

The Study



Best Cocktail Dip

 

By SOPHIA KERCHER

Rooftop Bar at the Standard Downtown



Best Spinning Top

 

By DANIEL HERNANDEZ

Bona Vista Lounge at the Bonaventure



Best Rapture By DANI KATZ

Babeland Sex Shoppe



Best Place to Get Your Smooch On

 

By SOPHIA KERCHER

Echo Park Lake



Why Don't We Do It in the Dirt? By RENA KONSETT

Top 10 e-mail responses to the question, “Where would you have your last lay in apocalyptic L.A.?”



Best Way to Get Ripped

 

By JUDITH LEWIS

Get Waxed!



Best Pit Stop in Purgatory

 

By SOPHIA KERCHER

Cha Cha Lounge



Best Last Dances

 

By GENDY ALIMURUNG

Vivo Dancesport



Riding Out the Apocalypse By TERRENCE E. DUNN

Where to catch the last wave



Queens of the New Ice Age

 

By GENDY ALIMURUNG

East West Ice Palace versus Aliso Viejo Ice Palace



Best Westside Happy Hour

 

By LONN FRIEND

Kay ’n Dave’s Fresh Mex Cantina



Best Tidal Refuge By ELLA TAYLOR

Infuzion Café



The Last Days of Disco By LINA LECARO

Nightranger’s welcome to the jungle



No-Escape Best Looting On the Eve of Destruction

By LINDA IMMEDIATO

Crossbows, medical pot and American Apparel




The Last Laugh

 

By STEVEN MIKULAN

The Groundlings



Best Whey Out

 

By JONATHAN GOLD

Ludobites at Breadbar




(Illustrations by Peter Horvath, 3D lettering by Daniel Couto)


Best Escape From L.A.

 

By CRAIG GAINES

The Amtrak Pacific Surfliner



Best Escape Vittles

 

By RENA KOSNETT

Snake, gator and other edible critters at Charlie Brown Farms



Best Offshore Radio Activity

 

By DAVID COTNER

KISL 88.7 FM Island Radio



So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish By JONATHAN GOLD

Just another perfect day



Best Place to Stop and Smell the Roses By COURTNEY LEAR

Exposition Park Rose Garden



Best Smell to Remember By DAVID COTNER

See’s Candy Factory



Best Temple of Earthly Delights

 

By DAVID COTNER

The Mayan



Best Cat's Cradle

 

By DAVID COTNER

Lucy at Skylight Books



God in an Alcove

 

By DAVID COTNER

Clifton’s Cafeteria



Best Way to Get All the Way Through Moby-Dick in a Weekend

 

By JUDITH LEWIS

Venice Oceanarium Beach Reading



Grandma's Attic By STEVEN LEIGH MORRIS

Counterpoint Records and Books



Biggest Fuck You, L.A.

 

By DANI KATZ

Or 108 seconds during which you will pray, bargain and beg for the apocalypse



Last Wet Dream

 

By STEVEN MIKULAN

Arthur J. Will Memorial Fountain



Raw Power By DANI KATZ

Best Belly Fillers for the Ascension



Best Five Inches of Pure Beef

 

By LONN FRIEND

The Wiener Factory



Best of the Wurst

 

By DAVID COTNER

Schreiner’s Fine Sausages



The Last Supper (or Breakfast or Lunch)

 

By STEVEN MIKULAN

Philippe the Original



The Mission Position

 

By STEVEN LEIGH MORRIS

San Gabriel and San Fernando missions



Best Griffith Park Alternative

 

By CRAIG GAINES

Kenneth Hahn Park



Best Lookout Point

 

By STEVEN LEIGH MORRIS

Mulholland Trail



Best Westside Meditation Spot

 

By LONN FRIEND

Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine Temple



Cod Almighty By JOE DONNELLY

Best Fish Taco in Ensenada



Best Diversion Strategy

 

By N.R. JENSSEN

Game Empire



Best Escape From the Eastside

 

By DANIEL HERNANDEZ

Venice, Beatch!



She... Had to Leave...

 

By GENDY ALIMURUNG

Going home to suburbia — Walnut, California



Look Homeward, Angeleno

 

By ALAN RICH

Glimpses of a well-lived life





(Illustration by Peter Horvath, 3D lettering by Daniel Couto)



Shop Till Everybody Drops

 

By PANDORA YOUNG

What the well-equipped survivalist will be wearing



Drinking in Wisdom (and Reishi Spores) With Captain Truth

 

By DANI KATZ

The Tonic Bar at Erewhon Natural Foods Market




Dogged Pursuit

 

By CRAIG GAINES

Free franks at the White Horse



Best Revival of an Extinct Fashion Species

 

By DANI KATZ

Stronghold Jeans



Best Concierge Service for Slackers (and Their Spoiled Dogs) By JUDITH LEWIS

Complete Concierge



Best Place to Watch Other Species Live in Peace and Harmony

 

By LONN FRIEND

The Aquarium of the Pacific



The Bionico Man By DANIEL HERNANDEZ

Placita Café



Best Wake-Up Call

 

By DANI KATZ

Urth Caffé’s Japanese Tea Latte




Watching the Apocalypse

 

By DAVID COTNER

Cinefile



Best Emergency Protein

 

By JONATHAN GOLD

Beef Jerky from A&Z’s Nut Wagon



Best Chocolate Bliss

 

By DANI KATZ

The Chocolate Box Café




Best Message in a Bottle

 

By DAVID COTNER

Broguiere’s Dairy



Best Sources for Building a Vintage Sound System

 

By N.R. JENSSEN

A Vinyl Revival



Lost Path to Shangri-la

 

By DANI KATZ

The bridge at Lower Topanga’s Rodeo Grounds



Best Car Wash for Meeting Girls

 

By LONN FRIEND

Americana Express Car Wash & Detail



Best Extinction Experts

 

By GENDY ALIMURUNG

The Dinosaur Institute



Hot Mango!

 

By STEVEN LEIGH MORRIS

Farm Fresh Ranch Market



Best Yogurt for Your Health

 

By CHRISTINE PELISEK

Real. Raw. Live.



The Arms (and Legs) Race By DAVID COTNER

Human Designs Prosthetic and Orthotic Laboratory



Best Soup Dumpling

 

By JONATHAN GOLD

Mei Long Village



Best Pet Love for Pound Pups

 

By LINDA IMMEDIATO

Catts & Doggs



Best Way to Live in the Past

 

By N.R. JENSSEN

Victory Station slot cars



Best Way to Kill Time By N.R. JENSSEN

Origami books from Kinokuniya Bookstore



Best Underground Movie Viewing

 

By N.R. JENSSEN

Ahmanson Auditorium at MOCA



Above It All By RENA KOSNETT

Universal City Overlook



Best Fizz

 

By JONATHAN GOLD

Wine Expo