Amazing Rants Overheard on L.A. Buses: "I got to get it out someways."

Ranter: Fifty-ish African-American man with beard and black bomber jacket and Tarheels cap; forty-ish African-American woman in overalls

Location: 206 bus, headed north up Normandie

Time: Saturday, 5:30 pm.

Topics Covered: Impossible fellatio; hirsute genitalia; the need for peace; starting shit with LAPD; the hypocrisy of church attendance after a criminal spree; hypertension; what children should and shouldn't hear.

Does Rant Include Advice on Whom You Should or Should Not Fuck With: Yes.

The Rant:

[As Overall Woman exits bus, she spots Bomber Jacket Man, with whom she seems to have history. Once outside, she grabs her crotch and hollers at him.]

Overall Woman: Suck my dick! Suck my dick!

Bomber Jacket Man: Shave that pussy!

Overall Woman: Suck my dick!

Bomber Jacket Man: Shave that pussy!

[Bus surges forward. Bomber Jacket Man turns contemplative.]

That's a motherfuck. Just trying to ride the bus, with kids on it. Just trying to have some peace, and then this shit. She got that dope-peddling-ass motherfucker, and she giving me shit? The police ought to go take both of those motherfuckers. Both of you.

Younger Woman: She's gone, pops. Settle down.

Bomber Jacket Man: Talking like that on a bus, all that gang-banger shit. I'm not no goddamn gangbanger. They think you can just go on to church after robbing a liquor store, and then they all surprised to get eight years on that bullshit. I ain't going to let them get me up in it. I ain't going to fuck with no L.A.P.D.

Bus Driver: You're going to have to quiet down or get off the bus.

Bomber Jacket Man: It's nothing. That bitch, she was just - [Pauses. Perhaps realizes this is not the best answer.] It's just a little hypertension, that's all.

Bus Driver: I don't care about no hypertension!

Bomber Jacket Man: It's just some release, after she talking all this "suck my dick." Kids shouldn't hear that.

Bus Driver: One more, and you're going to have to get off the bus.

[Bomber Jacket Man quiets, now addressing only those seated nearby.]

Bomber Jacket Man: I got to let it out, goddamnit. I got to get it out someways.

[As bus approaches Normandie and Wilshire, Bomber Jacket Man pulls the stop request cord. Although sitting in the rear of bus, he walks all the way to the front door to exit. As he passes a mother with two children, he speaks again.]

Bomber Jacket Man: I'm sorry. I just don't think kids should have to --

[The mother shakes her head, and Bomber Jacket Man presses forward, the thought unfinished.]

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