Amazing Rants Overheard at Los Angeles Post Offices: No Mango Knows About Prison!

Ranter: Tiny, elderly woman in a pink straw hat; fortyish guy in sunglasses applauding her.

Location: The sidewalk outside the post office at 4951 West Washington

Time: 11 a.m. on a Thursday

Topics Covered: Injustices of the justice system; the inadequacy of CalFresh; how each generation is increasingly unmoored from all preceding generations; a melon Rrevolution; the preponderance of processed foods in south Los Angeles; how long it takes a fruit to ripen; fruit's limited knowledge of the penal system.

Does Rant Include Advice About Whom You Should Not Fuck With? Yes, the people.

[After speaking intently for several minutes to her sunglassed companion, the woman in the pink straw hat gets worked up enough to shout her opinions.]

Pink Straw Hat: That's wrong! You serve your time, you're supposed to be free! But you can't get a job, you can't get a credit card! You can get food stamps, 200 dollars a week, so all you can buy is food that will kill you!

Sunglassed Man: You can pay the debt, but your record sticks with you.

Pink Straw Hat: They take your life! They leave no opportunities! And then they charge you! They charge the man without a job 400, 500 dollars for every little thing! They shouldn't charge, they should help! Help the poor man to live! Show him how to buy your acres and grow your food! A farm, melons, papaya - you can give it generation to generation. What do we hand down now?

Sunglassed Man: It's time for a revolution is what it's time for.

Pink Straw Hat: In Belize we grew papaya. Melons. Big and juicy. You plant them and eat them and they are fresh foods! Here there is no freshness!

Sunglassed Man: You plant a melon, how long you have to wait?

Pink Straw Hat: Three months! Mangoes like this! And a mango is a thing that you own and they cannot take away! They cannot charge you for! No mango knows about prison!

Sunglassed Man: So let's fight. Let's show them they can only take so much!

Pink Straw Hat: Let a man touch the dirt and his food, and he will never again go to prison! He will not know temptation! He will have a place that is his!

[A young girl passes holding the hand of a woman, apparently in her mid thirties. Pink Straw Hat softens and smiles.]

Pink Straw Hat: This beautiful girl - she is your grandchild?

Woman: My daughter.

[Pink Straw Hat shakes this off and smiles.]

Pink Straw Lady: She is the future. The future!

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