7 Tips for Better Toilet Etiquette (Hint: Guys, Put the Seat Down)

Tell him how you really feel.
Tell him how you really feel.

Living with the opposite sex isn't easy. Both genders possess domestic idiosyncrasies that drive our mates wild, and not in a good way. Whether you forget to put the dishes in the dishwasher, leave food out on the counter, squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end, or leave the seat up after you've peed -- we all do things around the house that piss off our partners.

So imagine the impression we leave while in the dating phase.

Guys: One wrong move and a turn-on can become a get-out, with that in mind I've put together a simple check-list to assure you avoid crossing any bathroom boundaries before you get a chance in the bedroom.

This is toilet etiquette that you dudes should always adhere to -- but specifically when visiting a chick's commode.

1. Instead of shaking your dick when you're finished, use a piece of tissue to dab the tip. This will prevent spray from flying all over the sink, the magazine rack, the toilet paper roll, the wall, and the floor.

2. Wipe the rim of the seat with toilet paper to collect your drips and the spare pubic hair you will end up leaving there. There is no grosser feeling than sitting down on a rim full of urine or falling into the bowl while the wet lip slides along the back of my thighs. Especially when I'm half asleep.

3. Put the seat back down to how you originally found it. Not the lid, just the actual seat you sit on. It's confusing when we ladies park ourselves in the dark and start peeing on the cover.

4. Do a floor check. If you've left dick dribble, grab a handful of tissue and wipe the area in front of, and around the sides of the bowl. I love a man and his penis, but I do not like when they flood my bathroom floor leaving large pools of piss by the basin for me to step in. It's even worse if the droplets belong to a guy I'm not banging.

5. Wash your hands. 'Nuff said.

6. Use the hand towel to wipe the water off the sink counter.

7. Turn off the light before leaving the room.

Men, this checklist isn't meant to emasculate or tell you what to do -- in fact it's just the opposite. I'm here to let you know that manners and cleanliness will go a long way to getting you laid.

At least in my house.

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