$4,000 Gold Vibrator Stolen in Brazil Just in Time for Nation's Valentine's Day

I don't recall St. Valentine looking like this.
I don't recall St. Valentine looking like this.

It's Valentine's Day in Brazil, and you know what that means:

Love and big butts. Armed robbery.

Wait, what?

A desperate man barged into a luxury sex shop in Brazil with weapon in hand, ready to take home one of the sex toy industry's most unnecessarily expensive vibrators, which happens to be plated in 18-karat gold.

The Brasilia store's sales assistant was tied up (not in a sexy way) while the man made his way to a lighted display case and grabbed the shiny sex toy. He forgot the battery charger. Whoops?

Chances are that the robber hoped he had a solid chunk of vibrating gold to melt down and make some money -- unfortunately for him, the majority of the vibrator is simple stainless steel and not worth a heck of a lot.

Now, I'm not the most learned when it comes to geography and international economic matters, but I'm 96.5% positive that Brazilians don't pay their bills with O-faces or diddles under the table.

But even if they do, this erotic law-breaker will only get so far -- once its motor dies, that down payment of a vibrator will become a mere paperweight. And evidence.


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