Top 5 Best New Songs To Make Out To (And The 5 Worst)
Get a room (with an iPod hookup)
Do you remember the first song you made out to? Whether it was a morose mood-killer or a beastly baby-maker, that song is imprinted in your mind, for better or for worse -- 'til death or lobotomy do you part.
If you don't want to repeat past mistakes and are looking to erase the musical regrets of the past, replacing them with a tongue-tangler of the present, check our Top 5 Best New Songs To Make Out To (And The Five Worst):
5. The Kills: "Satellite"
In their first single off upcoming album Blood Pressures, Alison Mosshart and Jamie Hince seduce with grungy, libidinous guitars and plaintive, guttural pleas to the operator to not take the ubiquitous her by having the connective satellite fail. "Satellite" is one of those songs that induce the kind of nostalgic longing that leads to long, desperate make-out sessions that cover up the loss and pain. The cathartic kind where salty tears mix with saliva and you wake up the next day feeling that maybe you aren't just an emotionless hunk of primal instinct.
4. CREEP: "Day"
With the gorgeous, shoegazey goth electro of CREEP's DJs Lauren Flax and Lauren Dillard and the breathy, sexed-up voice of The XX's Romy Madley-Croft, "Day" is one of those melancholic, clothing-melters that feels like hot oil slithering over your skin inciting slow bouts of breathless teasing, tonguing and touching. Don't be surprised if you wake up in a bed of black velvet with a stranger's name carved into your arm.
3. Adele: "Rolling in the Deep"
Like crimson, rollicking waves of pure passion, Adele's soulful firestarter, "Rolling In The Deep," will have you wanting to do tongue rolls deep in the mouth of your hesitant, frustrating lover who just can't commit. You know that once the relationship reaches an emotional climax "tears are gonna fall," but you might as well go out with the bitter taste of love in your mouth so that vindication tastes even more sweet.
2. The Raveonettes: "Forget That You're Young"
Darkly dreaming glittery pop, The Raveonettes have taken a more shimmering, shadowy route with the music on their upcoming album, Raven in the Grave. "Forget That You're Young" sounds like those coy, hair-twirling New Wave high school hits that go from shy sonic glances to backseat body burners. All it takes is a couple repetitive choruses about how "young" your make-out victim is and how much you "forget" this as you masterfully manipulate them into the throes of murky passion with your 80s-tinged mysticism.
And the best new song to make out to is...:
1. Crystal Castles featuring The Cure's Robert Smith: "Not In Love"
If a scientist were to do research on how The Cure gets young music lovers all creamy in their hearts and nether regions, one might find the surprising results that Robert Smith's voice has singlehandedly taken the love from the baby-powder slathered goth babes at he club to the baby powder-scented actual babies of the crib. Couple that with lustful despondency, statements of not being in love, and the clinical electro-jangle of Crystal Castles and you've got just enough mystery to span another generation of children.
And now, get ready for THE WORST 5 new songs to make out to:
5. Wavves: "TV Luv Song"
Wavves is like that stoner musician boyfriend who plays video games during the day and "practices" with his "band" at night. [Ed.'s note: actually Wavves IS that stoner musician boyfriend who plays video games during the day and "practices" with his "band" at night.] They are so adorable in that scruffy, smelly way that dogs are and you have the same unconditional love for them, even if they do something bad like bang a drunk girl in Tucson. But with lyrics like "Getting down on myself," "Wasting my time," "Getting lost in my head," and "Can't make up my mind/none of the time/but that's all right with me," it won't take you too long to make-up your mind that you are tired of shelling out rent just this "one last time" and keeping the fridge stocked with cheap beer.
4. Stay Hungry: "Against The Wall"
Unless you have some sort of sadistic hatred of yourself that also acts as an erotic fetish, the death metal screams of Stay Hungry saying they feel "surrounded/need to break out/isolated" shouldn't really induce you into a saliva-swapping frenzy. Unless of course, in your grand scheme of breaking free from the walls that surround you, you have some sort of psychotic delusion that there is a gateway to another dimension through the cavernous mouth of a hard rock babe. And then we can't fault you for trying.
3. tUnE-yArDs: "Bizness"
A lot of making out is about rhythm and while tUnE-yArDs' new song, "Bizness," is a fresh, experimental track, the hoarse, alto screams of Merrill Garbus and the disconnected beat would be a tad disconcerting while getting down to "bizness." Imagine if every time you leaned in for the big finish, someone couldn't mind their own "bizness" and yelled into your face "what's the bizness, yeah?" (PS: this is not an assessment of tUnE-yArDs' quality and skills, which are AWESOME. It's merely a comment on the track's makeout music potential)
2. Telekinesis: "Car Crash"
Telekinesis' song, "Car Crash" is a gorgeous tune with deep, unfiltered insight into the minds of us many desperate, depressed and disenchanted. Which make it a total bum-out. With lyrics like, "It's a chemical reaction/based upon attraction/will I die alone?/you know, I'm so concerned/you know, I'm so confused/like a lost child/a little lost child," you would be less inclined to get your mack on with singer, Michael Benjamin Lerner, and more likely to fix him a cup of hot cocoa with those cute, tiny marshmallows and nod your head with detached compassion while he vents.
And THE WORST new song to make out to (for creepy reasons) is...
1. Cee-Lo: "Bodies"
Don't get us wrong: Cee-Lo's track "Bodies" off his recent album, The Lady Killer, is totally a sexy, soulful panty-dropper. Until you realize Cee-Lo is using a straight-razored metaphor about being a serial killer to describe, well, being a "lady killer." So, just like many other murderers, Cee-Lo's track is a master of musical manipulation, seducing you with libidinous whispers until bang, you're dead, and Cee-Lo is dragging you out with last night's garbage. Not exactly the most erotic of visuals. Unless you are into that sort of thing.
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