Top 10 Strangest Rock Star Action Figures (In Honor of the "Hard Rock Barbie" Lawsuit)
Is Barbie stealing your style? Patrica Day, bassist from psychobilly Danish band HorrorPops, claims that Barbie makers Mattel have appropriated her image for a "Hard Rock" line of the iconic plastic dolls. The series included licensed replicas of Debbie Harry, Joan Jett, and Cyndi Lauper, but Day claims that she was never contacted about the "rockabilly" version, which she believes is based on her image on the cover of their Hell Yeah album. The case will probably not stand unless Day has trademarked her image, or the entire look of rockabilly ladies, tats, bangs, and all (if the latter is the case, then Day will make a killing off half the ladies at car shows in Pomona). And if she does win, Day should be ready for subsequent suits from the Betty Page estate and rockabilly originator Wanda Jackson who pioneered the look. In honor of this incredibly strange lawsuit, here are the Top Ten Strangest Rock Star Action Figures, Dolls, and Bobbleheads. Check 'em out:
10. Zakk Wylde
Stats: This shocking 9-inch sculpture presents a startlingly realistic likeness of Zakk Wylde with his signature black-and-white Bullseye Gibson Les Paul. It's an officially licensed product from Zakk Wylde and Gibson Guitars, and a limited edition of 3,000 pieces. Zakk is cast in a polyresin, hand numbered, hand painted in marvelous detail, and displayed on a hard-to-believe wooden base. He's a great find for Zakk Wylde and Ozzy Osbourne fans!"
This homage to classic metal may be hard to find, so if you're looking for the perfect gift for that metalhead in your life, try the just released Dimebag Darrell figurine. R.I.P. gents.
Stats: "Beginning their musical lives as underground thrashers (No Life Til Leather, Kill 'Em All, anyone?), Metallica has evolved into the premiere American heavy metal band. Bar none. And the band shows up pretty often on action figure wish lists. Wish granted, shredder, now get out there and rock on. These action figures come individually carded or as a deluxe boxed set, re-creating the stage set from the 1988 And Justice For All tour."
Made by Spawn creator Todd McFarlane, this replica of the entire Metallica crew catches them at the height of their metal days. Now if they could only make replicas of the band suing everyone, it'd be more up to date. (note to Metallica: Please don't sue me...)
8. Kurt Cobain
7. Johnny Cash
The Man in Black even looks tough when he's 7-inches tall. This piece from SOTA Toys pays attention to all the details of Johnny Cash, from his belt buckle to his wind-swept coif. He's even walking the line! Buy it!
6. Joey Ramone
Stats: "The original punk icon, Joey Ramone, hits shelves as an all new 7" action figure from NECA, featuring microphone stand!"
It may seem a little weird, but looking at NECA's mini-version of Joey makes me choke up a little. With the chucks, leather jacket, and even those torn jeans, this the Joey we all know and love. Only much, much smaller.
Stats: "Brian Johnson and Angus Young rock harder than ever with this special action figure 2-pack. Featuring Angus' trademark guitar and Brian's microphone!"
One of the reasons AC/DC is so filthy rich has to do with their savvy merchandising schemes. But despite their marketing prowess, they still put green light some pretty fun products like these figurines from NECA .
Stats: "One of rock 'n' roll's most famous and accomplished guitarists in a signature pose complete with leather jacket and tophat. Includes support base, guitar, amp and speaker cabinet for those high-volume fretboard occasions."
Another one of McFarlane's mini-masterpieces, Slash rips a solo while looking to the heavens. If only a replica church on a prairie was included too, and you could re-enact the most epic scene from the "November Rain" video.
Stats: "This fun KISS PVC figure features Gene Simmons as The Demon in full make up. Each Gene Simmons KISS figure stands approximately 4 inches tall and is part of a set of KISS figurines manufactured by "The Promotions Factory" for one large U.S. retailer."
KISS is a band that was inspired by action figures and comic books, so it seems natural that they are forever preserved in their intended form. The image of Gene Simmons and the gang have been licensed in countless variations, but there's still something comforting about having that tiny tongue pointed at you while working in your cubicle.
Stats: "Stands 7 inches tall with base.
-Sculpted to accuracy, this figure captures Lemmy in all his Motorhead glory.
-Includes: Highly detailed and accurate figure, Rickenbacker Figural Bass Guitar, Bass Guitar Strap, Microphone & Stand, Figural Base, Motorhead Logo Plate & War Pig Themed Backdrop.
-The officially licensed Rickenbacker guitar replica features real strings and Rickenbacker trademarks. (Guitar does not play music.)
This figurine made by Locoape is so accurate, they even got the moles right. They're currently out of stock, but some astute internet searching can land you one of these collectable Lemmies.
And the number one weirdest tiny rock star is...
1. G. G. Allin
Stats: "This ghoulish effigy is a striking representation of GG ALLIN circa 1991. The figure, limited to 2000 numbered units, stands at 7 inches tall and is made of a lightweight polyresin. Displayed in a tri-windowed box, here GG is accurately sculpted right down to the tattoos, blood, and filth."
We kind of love Aggronautix, the company behind this amazing bobbly replica of the inimitable shock rocker G.G. Allin. They also offer "throbbleheads" of the Dwarves, D.O.A., Keith Morris, Andrew W.K., and our personal favorite, Wendy O.
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