Here at the "Today in WTF" Headquarters we've seen it all.
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And then something like this arrives: it's Dennis Hopper (ping!) at Johnny Cash's awesomely weird variety TV show (ping! ping!), reciting some Hallmark card-type poem (ping! ping! ping!), while telling us that "if" is in the middle of "Life" (see what Dennis did there? ping! ping! PING! CRACKPOT JACKPOT!!!)
Cocaine, my friends, a helluva drug...