Last week, rapper Waka Flocka Flame posted a help wanted ad on Instagram, seeking a personal, full-time blunt roller. The salary? $50,000 a year.
Before we could sign up, his publicist Ed Banacia told us he suspected the whole thing was a joke.
But then, after actor Seth Rogen expressed interest in the gig via Twitter, Waka promptly up and signed him up.
Supposedly. We're dubious.
And yet, this is a serious responsibility, and waiting in the wings in is a true genius blunt roller from Long Beach.
Arif Muhammad, whose Instagram handle happens to be @reefdaroller, says he has rolled (and smoked) at least five blunts a day since he was 14. That's nearly 15,000 blunts in his lifetime.
"I was always the designated blunt roller," Muhammad says. "After school, at parties. everybody would just hand it to me and I'd do it."
He claims he can roll a blunt in the dark with one hand in five minutes flat. In fact, that's something he does a lot in Los Angeles while driving at night, listening to Sade, he says.
Muhammad says he's spent years honing his storage and rolling techniques: "Papers get moist when you're smoking in groups, and as a kid that was the only way we could smoke was in groups, so we would smoke blunts to make sure it goes around."
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He prefers indicas for his bud and unflavored Swishers for his wraps, although on special occasions he'll break out a 24-karat gold Shine blunt wrap, priced at $33 for two, or a Benjamins Shine blunt wrap covered in images of hundred-dollar bills and priced at $5.
Waka asked job candidates to post photos of themselves smoking blunts with the hashtag #ICanRoll. One video Muhammad tagged with #ICanRoll features him smoking a blunt that appears to be wrapped in $100 bills, in celebration of the start of this year's NFL season.
Our advice? Waka needs to ditch the zero and get with this hero.