The Breast Is Yet To Come
Its so great to be here, because its snowing like a bitch in New York, said LEA DeLARIA after singing a holiday ditty at teen hot line THE TREVOR PROJECTs annual benefit, A CRACKED CHRISTMAS 6, at the WILTERN. I hate Christmas, she admitted, eliciting a few groans of disapproval from the mostly gay and lesbian audience: The big donors sat on the main floor and got dinner, while the general-admission set risked nosebleeds in the balcony. Some dyke is already arguing with me, DeLaria zinged back before diving into another song. Besides DeLaria, DAN FINNERTY and THE DAN BAND belted out some girlie tunes, relying heavily on ABBA and Bonnie Tylers Total Eclipse of the Heart. Finnerty got a warmer reception, with one woman yelling out, I love you, Dan! My new favorite person, he said before doing a TLC cover. Queer Eye fashionista CARSON KRESSLEY and actor MEGAN MULLALLY led the live auction, which included some grand vacations and two Will & Grace walk-ons. Mullally promised that You will be assiduously ignored the entire week, and even offered to show a boob to get the bids higher. SHARON OSBOURNE gave a generous final bid, prompting Finnertys wife, actor KATHY NAJIMY, to come onstage and flash her black brassiere. LILY TOMLIN did one of her signature monologues before introducing absent honoree ROSIE ODONNELL, who accepted the Trevor Life Award via a dark, grainy videotape. The crowd, which included actors DORIS ROBERTS, CHRISTOPHER SIEBER, BETH GRANT, MO GAFFNEY and KATHY KINNEY, seemed disappointed by Rosies tape, and the cheap seats started to empty almost immediately. Still, most made sure to pick up their gift bags. No one was that cracked.
Writer Gone Wild
No doubt this countrys literacy rate would soar if more book-release parties were like the one that BETT WILLIAMS threw at CLUB LINGERIE to celebrate the publication of her novel The Wrestling Party (Alyson Publications), a sapphic take on relationships and pop culture. Scantily clad babes writhing around on an oiled wrestling mat made the eve feel like a debauched re-enactment of Girls Gone Wild and then there was Williams, who not only has a way with words, but is blond and gorgeous. Drinks were horrendously overpriced, but that didnt stop anyone from getting into the holiday spirits, uh, spirit. LAURAN HOFFMAN and CLINT CATALYST (a Weekly contributor) were among the literati cheering for HEAVY METAL GIRLFRIEND, featuring RICH DOLLINGER of Try Harder on guitar accompanying I Was a Teenage Dominatrix author SHAWNA KENNY speak-singing a satiric cover of Master of Puppets, as well as glam rockers SHITTING GLITTER and punky duo JESSIE DELUXE. As Williams read passages from her memoir, the descriptions of the liquor-soaked, free-for-all wrestling parties she and her pal, adult filmmaker Sondra Goodwin, used to throw in Santa Fe primed the crowd for the wrassling action. San Francisco death-metal über-vixens BINKY took the stage dressed like A Clockwork Orange droogettes, while Williams stripped down to her bra and panties, diving onto the mat with an opponent as Jet Fuel singer JAMES LUNA prowled around with a camcorder. Soon a slew of audience members took advantage of the thoughtfully provided white skivvies and towels, stripping down, oiling up and joining in. Do the hammer lock.
There were twinkies galore circulating the ADVOCATE GALLERY at the GAY & LESBIAN CENTERs opening bash for Bubbles Goes Gay! Not the type one usually encounters at such events but rather cream-filled snack cakes served on platters. Falling off the Atkins diet en masse, art lovers chased Ding Dongs, Pixy Stix and miniature candy bars (but, alas, no SnoBalls or HoHos) with white wine as they sampled art by BUBBLES, an artist so reclusive she makes seldom-seen writer JT Leroy look sociable. No one was surprised when artist-composer ALLEE WILLIS announced that Bubbles had been unexpectedly delayed (she and Bubbles are so close that theyre practically the same person). But Bubbles still hadnt arrived when LILY TOMLIN introduced her to the crowd, which included RUPAUL, WEIRD AL YANKOVIC,
JANE WAGNER, GAIL ZAPPA, actors SALLY KELLERMAN, MINK STOLE, JENIFER LEWIS, ELLEN GREENE, and MICHAEL DES BARRES, comedians JULIE BROWN, BETH LAPIDES and TIM BAGLEY, songwriters BRENDA RUSSELL and STEPHEN BRAY, record producer BOB ESTY, interior designer RON MEYERS (a Weekly contributor), and writers DENNIS HENSLEY, CHARLES PHOENIX and PAMELA DES BARRES. Tomlin read glowing testimonials to Bubbles talent, as well as a scathing letter from ERNESTINE, whos threatening to sue for defamation of caricature. (Ernestines visage graces several of Bubbles paintings and ceramics.) After Tomlin finished her introduction, Bubbles was still a no-show. Boyishly handsome CLINTON LEUPP wasnt surprised that Bubbles didnt make it, but he seemed slightly taken aback when one fellow called his recent film, Girls Will Be Girls, profound. Retorted Leupp, Its many things, but Id never call it profound. Wonder what Miss Coco Peru would say about that.
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