Snoop Dogg Plays Puff, Puff, Pass With Hashtag, Sets World Record
Me without you is like ?uestlove without TweetDeck, shit'll never go platinum
This was met with the usual chuckling from wannabe Best Week Ever-types that goes down whenever he publicly announces his intent to do anything besides smoke weed. (Never mind the fact that the tweet was about getting high.) "LOLZ, look at Snoop do something besides smoke weed, he'll probably saying 'twizzle' so much because he's GOT THE MUNCHIES, AMIRITE?"
Look, motherfucker, the dude was responsible for the criminally underrated Doggy Fizzle Televizzle and "Can You Control Your Hoe," the fuck do you have to show for your life? For all you know, he could be making "Bitch Please 3" this very moment while you sit on your ass reading the always excellent West Coast Sound (welcome!). But I digress...
But really, who are we to doubt Snoop's hustle, especially when it involves, in this case, an almost complete lack of actual hustle? Dude hasn't really had a hit in five years, Katy Perry collab notwithstanding, and in 2010 he still probably paid more in taxes than most of us made. Unless he didn't, in which case I hope this doesn't create an awkward situation with the federales a la the "Bart The Fink" episode of The Simpsons.
Sadly, there's not a whole lot of suspense involved here - after all, if you read between the lines, he's not "breaking" any record so much as establishing it. By definition, he can't fail. But kudos to him for actually coming up with this sort of publicity stunt, which seems a lot easier than, you know, making an album that lives up to the standards set by Da Game Is To Be Sold Not To Be Told (hey, it's not like any cuts from Doggystyle were being played during Heat games or interpolated by Kendrick Lamar this year).
Of course, these things are really hard to quantify. As of 7:35 PM PST, the Tweet had been reposted by a dozen or so visible "twizzles" (his words, not mine) and "100+ others," which sounds impressive. At the very least, it's approximately 33x more retweetable than my joke about the new Rapture LP sounding like Disco Yeasayer. But I think we all know this accomplishment's inevitable fate: the moment Lil B catches wind of this, Tha Doggfather's record is living on borrowed time.
If nothing else, it makes me wonder how many similar stunts we could retroactively induct into the annals of Guinness. I mean, Jesus - the late '90s alone..."Hate Me Now" for "most white tigers in a hip-hop video," Tical 2000: Judgment Day for "most pointless skits," any Ruff Ryders video for "most blatant homoeroticism." So, in other words, look out for LA Weekly's Unofficial Book Of Hip-Hop World Records, in stores that carry the first Madd Rapper album and has Kane & Abel splitting the weekend shift at the register.
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