SanDiego.com was in the process of interviewing Gerald Casale, one of DEVO's leaders, a couple of days ago, when it became evident that Casale was mainly interested in discussing one and only one topic.
Fortunately for everyone, the reporter went along, culminating in the following exchange:
Would you take this moment and officially extend an invitation to Charlie Sheen to become a member of DEVO and go on this upcoming tour?
We'd be honored. Any of our songs that he wanted to sing.
What else do you have going on today?
Well actually now I realize what I have to do today, which is since Mark doesn't want to tour, I need to ask Charlie Sheen if he'll be our lead singer! I mean that would be DEVO and it would be tremendous! Can't you see him singing and taking a drag of a cigarette in between?
I think he would do a great "Uncontrollable Urge."
Fuck that'd be great. We'll give him a real whip and let his goddesses up onstage, oh man. I am in awe.
What do you think folks? Will Charlie join DEVO? Will Charlie take over DEVO? Or should he hold off until the RZA himself summons him to Shao-Lin to take his rightful place as ODB's heir?
Here's more from SanDiego.com's throughly bizarre interview:
DEVO has always had a great sense of humor, what sort of comedians do you enjoy watching?
I've always loved it when a great comic came along like Andy Kaufman; that was spectacular. Early Steve Martin was great, early Eddie Murphy was great. Most of the comedy that I see is not meant to be comedy, I mean what we laugh at is people that think they're being serious and they're ridiculous. Our humor comes from the foibles of humanity; of greed and misplaced ego. I'll tell you who's really making me laugh right now, I think he's brilliant; it's as if someone wrote a script for a Scorsese character, and that's Charlie Sheen, I just can't get enough of this. It's incredible and powerful stuff; I mean personally I think he should jump straight into a reality show with his two goddesses. The stuff he's saying and the way he behaves is more powerful than anything he's ever done. To have a guy whose money is coming from such a dumb ass show like Two and a Half Men, pontificating like he's on level with Marcel Duchamp and Frank Lloyd Wright, it's fantastically outrageously humorous. His thing about curing himself from mind control and having Adonis genes, flying high in the clouds with two strippers while he's looking down at you with your ugly wife and your ugly kids, and you want what he's got and you're never going to have it. Wow! It's like did Oliver Stone write this for Al Pacino to say in Scarface? It's great stuff. [...]
Would you be willing to direct a reality show starring Charlie Sheen?
Oh my god, I would do it free for Charlie. It's reached the level of art. I mean wow. I like the way he called Thomas Jefferson a pussy on that radio interview, and then he put down the 12-Step guy as an addled brain idiot weakling, because he knows how to use his mind to instantly cure himself, and all these weak people don't understand it. It's fantastic!
Did you know he just joined Twitter and set a world record for getting 1,000,000 followers in a day?
Yes, the Guinness people verified it.
It totally makes sense to me. I mean this guy is kind of liked a coked-up Yoda.
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Are you on Twitter?
No but what you just told me I think it's changed my mind about the whole thing.[...]
Twitter is a perfect platform for Sheen though, he has so many one-liners.
That's what I mean. This guy's brilliant, he's a philosopher of our devolved culture. He impresses me with the shit he says, it's unbelievable.