Shit People Said at Coachella 2017

There are some weird conversations happening out there.EXPAND
There are some weird conversations happening out there.
Mathew Tucciarone

Every year at Coachella, we set out to pick up on the best things heard in passing on the polo fields. They're bits and pieces of people's adoration for the performers that move them, utter confusion about getting where they're going and, sometimes, drug-induced ponderings.

Here are 25 of the most oddball and hilarious — especially when heard out of context — things overheard this year.

25. This was actually the very first thing I heard when I got through the gates.
"You should have a morning poop, an afternoon poop and a night poop. That's, like, a healthy diet."

24. Not usually the kind of question you shout at a band, but Tall Juan took it in stride.
"Where'd you fly in from?"
"Mars! No, from Argentina."

23. Only three hours in and this security guy had had it.
"Stop doing drugs! Stop doing drugs!"

22. I've been there too, Surfbort.
"This one's about waking up and being like, 'Where's all my shit?'"

21. Does anybody actually though?
Girl shouting at Mac DeMarco during his set: "I don't get you! I really don't!"

20. One of the more far-out Coachella rumors this year.
"You think Snoop Dogg is gonna show up for Radiohead?"
"Foshizzle!"

Surprisingly, Snoop Dogg did not make an appearance during Radiohead's set. Maybe he bailed because of all the sound issues?EXPAND
Surprisingly, Snoop Dogg did not make an appearance during Radiohead's set. Maybe he bailed because of all the sound issues?
Mathew Tucciarone

19. Then, these two dudes said this:
"If they play 'Creep' I'm gonna make out with you."
"Now I'm excited."

18. The Radiohead frontman does have a reputation for being a bit of a miserabilist.
"I can just imagine every time the audience claps, Thom's just like, 'Those do nothing for me!'"

17. Despite the fact that Radiohead left the stage twice because of sound issues ...
"That was still better than Drake."

16. The beginning of day two.
Girl yawns in the crowd.
Other girl: "No! I don't want to catch it! Noooooo!"

15. At least it looked like he was having a good trip.
"I did way too many mushrooms. Waaaay tooooo maaaany."

14. From a bro passing a buff guy wearing a bunny rabbit head, Speedo with bunny tail and nothing else:
"You should be charging for pictures, bro!"

Somewhere up there, Warpaint are casting spells.EXPAND
Somewhere up there, Warpaint are casting spells.
Mathew Tucciarone

13. This dude at Warpaint:
"They're straight up doing witchcraft. I have no idea what they're doing."

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12. "I will go buy an iced coffee for anyone who gives me a fat nug right now."

11. Apparently, Future's surprise guest wasn't for everyone ...
"How was Drake?"
"He was good, but all the girls around me just kept screaming 'Daddy' at him the whole time, so that was kind of weird."

10. Selfie turf is a real thing, I guess?
"Can you please go over there? You're in my picture."
"Bitch, you're in my picture! Move!"

9. Day three: The final stretch for tired limbs and brains.
"Sitting in this beanbag chair is better than any hug I've ever gotten."

8. There's a lot of sweating.
"My spray tan is making my pit stains orange."

7. And a lot of drugs.
"I think if every hair on your head had a name it would be like every name in America."

6. Devendra Banhart brought out a little girl to sing, and this woman could barely contain herself:
"Are you freaking REAL right now?!"

Lebo M., left, and Hans Zimmer, getting their Lion King onEXPAND
Lebo M., left, and Hans Zimmer, getting their Lion King on
Matthew Tucciarone

5. Hans Zimmer and his orchestra performed The Lion King theme and it was a really big deal.
"I was so excited I peed a little."

4. Teenage girls acted at gatekeepers to Lorde's show.
"I'll only let you through if you're actually here for Lorde and not just Kendrick."

3. And this one might be just a little obsessed:
"I want your face and your hair and your clothes and your voice and your life and I want you!"

2. Everything the singer did impressed us.
"She's drinking water with a straw! She's so fucking classy."

1. And the very last thing I hear before exiting the festival?
"How did she get a giant inflatable dick in here?"


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