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Our Analysis of These Metal Songs About Goblins Goes DEEP

Nekrogoblikon

Rick CraftNekrogoblikon

Vikings, hobbits, pirates, and of course Satan have inspired metal bands. But L.A. group Nekrogoblikon may be the first inspired by tales of goblin apocalypse.

Their new EP Power, like all their other albums, takes place in a universe where Goblins reign supreme and destroy everything lying in their path. In lesser hands, the gimmick would get old quick. But Nekrogoblikon have the musical chops -- especially the super-shredding guitars of Tim Lyakhovetskiy and Alex Alereza -- to make it work. Behold then: Our favorite Nekrogoblikon songs about goblins.

"No One Survives"

From: Stench (2011)

Sample lyric: In times before the goblins came / We only had ourselves to blame / For the problems in our lives / Spiraling down towards our demise

Analysis: Every great civilization ends up crumbling under the weight of its own excesses and failings. While the civilization in Nekrogoblikon's universe eventually meets its fate at the hands of intergalactic goblins, we did a great job setting ourselves up for the kill.

"Invasion"

From: Stench (2011)

Sample lyric: A rotting old cabin collapses in gloom / This is a requiem for a bitter man's tomb / Blistering spite for the whole human race / Planning our doom with a grin on his face

Analysis: When the goblins arrived, they had a co-conspirator walking among us. While everyone else screamed in agony and fought desperately for their lives, one human being welcomed the impending destruction.

"Goblin Island"

From: Goblin Island (2007)

Sample lyric: Human remains in a goblin crypt / Bodies skinned and clothing stripped / Filling the earth with stinking rot / Boiling the brains in a giant pot

Analysis: The fate we will meet at the hands of the goblins will not be painless. It will be slow. It will be painful. No one will get a proper burial. All of us will become goblin food.

"Goblin Christmas Armageddon Part I"

From: Goblin Island (2007)

Sample lyric: Everyone scatters and no one survives! / Entrails of Rudolph are turned into pies / Christmas will die when the goblins arrive! / Leading the weak to the cauldrons at night

Analysis: The work of intergalactic space goblins is a 24-hour a day, 365-days a year gig. No vacation time, no personal days, and no holidays. The jolly spirit of the fat man in red is not enough to dissuade goblins from their pursuit of relentless destruction.

"This Is Our God"

From: Stench (2011)

Sample lyric: Circle of goblins praising their lord / Sacrificing children with their goblin swords / Circle of children, waiting to die / Carved out of the womb, no chance for goodbye (or hello)

Analysis: Though they are heartless bastards with no regard for the lives of the other creatures they share the universe with, even goblins answer to a higher power.

"Giraffe"

From: Power (2013)

Sample lyric: Far away from home, looking out at the stars / We found a dead giraffe, floating right by Mars / A strange creature he was with his big sad eyes / How'd he wind up here? What a long-necked surprise!

Analysis: How did a giraffe navigate the logistics of interstellar travel? No one really knows, not even the goblins. Spoiler alert: The trip does not end well for the giraffe.

"Goblins Ahoy!"

From: Goblin Island (2007)

Sample lyric: The slaughter begins, the mayhem unthinkable / Pirate blood is especially drinkable / Let's make jewelry out of their bones / And break their jaws with tiny stones

Analysis: Goblin metal and pirate metal merge in this tale. The ruthless pirates picked the wrong enemy to plunder. The battle experience of a pirate on the seas ain't got shit on the bloodthirstiness of your average goblin.

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