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Nightranger

Photo by Lina Lecaro

FROCK AROUND THE CLOCK

Ah, Fashion Week... wispy waif models, effeminate fashionistas full of ’tude fighting for the front row, candy-sweet (sponsored-liquor) cocktails and swag, swag, swag!

We kicked off the week’s whirl of wearables where it all begins, in the streets, at FAB Market’s FUSE runway show downtown, featuring new designers showing a variety of retro-flavored threads to a live-band soundtrack. Loved the bodacious bling by Minx (whose Carole Shepherd casts gold and silver jewelry and handbags designed by pals Jason Lee, NBC’s “Earl,” and Tori Spelling) and the costumey Purple Rain–style getups by J’aire, which were actually tame compared to the scary ensembles we saw at the Burning Man Decompression party a block away. Those techno-hippies sure love their fluorescent faux fur.

Speaking of fur, looks like Paris Hilton has traded in her Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, for a more phallic fashion accessory — a ferret! P.H. was the star model at the 2 B Free fashion show at Paramount Studios on Saturday, and she showed off her (illegal) new pet both on the red carpet and on the runway as onlookers including Tracy Bingham,Eric La Salle and America’s Next Top Model contestant Lisa (living up to her bee-otchy TV persona by yelling nonstop during the show) eyed the line’s colorful track suits and tees.

Nightranger got to check out another celeb-coveted brand, Rock & Republic, on Tuesday, as the denim co. offered a day of freebies for the famous at its Culver City studios. We squeezed into the sexy jeans (many inspired by rock stars, like low-rise pube-peekers called “the Jaggers”), alongside Kiss’ Paul Stanley, Bijou Phillips, Days of Our Lives star Allison Sweeney and Access Hollywood’s Maria Menounos, and scored a hot pair of “Eddies” (medium-rise butt-huggers named after Eddie Van Halen) — perfect for running with the devil after dark.

MAS PALMAS

Looks like Cahuenga might be losing its cachet as Hollywood’s reigning beat street thanks to the extreme makeover (club edition) of a formerly even shadier Hollywood Blvd. adjacent avenue: Las Palmas. Tabloids and the E! network have been salivating all over the block that includes Bella (the new steak house from the Dolce Group, members of which include Ashton Kutcher and Wilmer Valderrama), Rok Bar (co-owned by Dave Navarro, Tommy Lee and Paul Oakenfold) and the airport-lounge-themed nightspot LAX (piloted by DJ AM, Nicole Richie’s fiancé). Nightranger decided to use BPM mag’s bash for its “Velvet Ropeburn” issue at LAX last week as an excuse to go for the Las Palmas trifecta.The skinny? Bella is bueno swank, but the red-hued Rok Bar is trying way too hard, with images of faux rock chicks everywhere and cheesy song lyrics on the walls, à la the Hard Rock Café. It’s hard to believe this one used to be Janice DeSoto’s gritty real rawk joint Bar Deluxe way back when. . . .

Needless to say, we quickly departed to LAX, where promoter BoJesse Christopher played host, attracting the likes of popster Aaron Carter; drummer boy Travis Barker;Mischa Barton’s ex, Brandon Davis (with some unfamous dark-haired lass); and Efren Rameriz, a.k.a. Pedro from Napolean Dynamite, who still hasn’t tired of proving he’s got “skillz” on the dance floor. Though splicing and dicing song after song before its first chorus even comes on is a turntable trend we find akin to masturbatory guitar solos (take a cue from ’80s singer Shannon, deejays, and “Let the Music Play”!), the dude who warmed up AM’s decks did get us on the floor, right next to a sassy fella text-messaging on a Sidekick while shaking his booty, a dance move we’ve been seeing a lot during Fashion Week, and that we’ve decided to coin “Kickin’ It.”

LIKE A (CORPORATE) VIRGIN

The grand opening of the Virgin Megastore at Hollywood & Highland this past Monday, with a planned rooftop concert featuring Gang of Four, Dredg and INXS (parading its new singer, Michael Hutchence wannabe J.D. Fortune), got washed out for fear of “electrocution,” so the festivities were brought inside. No live music, but there were plenty of photo ops and, of course, shopping for CDs and stuff... stuff being the operative word. Clearly, the rock-band licensing frenzy has gotten way out of control (Social Distortion clocks? Grateful Dead baby bottles? Pink Misfits purses?), but even more so was owner Sir Richard Branson’s ribbon-cutting “stunt”: He and the store’s staff did a chorus-line headbang dance while chugging (empty!) Jack Daniel’s bottles — all dressed (very unfashionably) as Axl Rose. Welcome to the jungle, indeed.