View more photos in Timothy Norris' "Lady GaGa @ Nokia Theatre" slideshow.
Lady GaGa gigged at the Nokia Theatre on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Timothy Norris got a photo pass, but Universal Music didn't provide West Coast Sound with a review ticket, or even reply to our emails asking for one. Because we weren't there, we're going to wing it and write a review of the show that we wanted to see.
Within moments of her arrival, Lady GaGa was flashing her tiny imaginary penis at the crowd. Unbelievable!
She looked AWESOME, and smelled even better. From our seat, her breath smelled of the finest petunias, and her underarm pits were the scent of Moet. Her hair was FABULOUS.
At one point GaGa was rocking so hard she actually CAUGHT FIRE. In this image, her backup dancers and some mysterious masked firemen had just finished successfully dousing her with water. Phew, disaster averted.
One thing that's not apparent from music videos that Lady GaGa is a hunchback. From the back, she's neckless, and her ass rides really high. It's kind of weird. She wears those mirror suits to deflect the attention away from her disfigured body.
When she was on fire, she flailed around screaming, and in the process she messed up her lower back. She started complaining, and was barely able to continue the show. Some of her dancers became worried for her safety during "Let's Dance," and asked if there was a doctor in the house. Alas, though there were many Burger King employees, major label publicists and production assistants in attendance, the doctors were few and far between.
Finally a massage therapist and a chiropractor made their way up to the stage, and were able to restore enough mobility for her to continue. Phew!
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Despite her back troubles, GaGa is a trooper. She walked all cockeyed for the rest of the night, and was pretty whiny. For her encore, she performed the entirety of Meat Loaf's 'Bat Out of Hell.'
The heroes of the night were the masked firemen, pictured above. Without them, Lady GaGa would be toast right now. Yay for the firemen!